


Fault Line

by thefandomlife



Category: Smosh
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Boze is adorable and loud af, But she has had some bad experiences that made her insecure, Coffee Shops, Courtney and Olivia are soft girlfriends, Damien and Julia are best buds, Damien is a supportive bff, Damien is the cat overlord, Ex boyfriend enters the ring, F/F, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, I believe wholeheartedly that Shayne is a perfectionist, Julia is a soft smol meme, M/M, Male-Female Friendship, Mari and Julia are best girl buds, Mari is amazing, Mentions of Abusive Relationships, Mentions of Rape, Perfectionist Shayne Topp, Romance, mentions of cheating, this basically started off as a coffee shop au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-04
Updated: 2018-02-04
Packaged: 2019-03-13 08:44:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 36,334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13566975
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thefandomlife/pseuds/thefandomlife
Summary: Julia Lewis was the kind of girl to lay low and get through life while keeping her head down. Past experiences and trauma taught her a lot of lessons and tried to diminish the charismatic soul that she was, but one fateful day had a blonde stranger enter her coffee shop.





	Fault Line

**Author's Note:**

> Hey y'all, I wrote this in two/three weeks nonstop. It was a doozy, lemme tell you that! I absolutely love the Smosh guys and gals and I was horrified to realize that there was hardly anything written about them. I love writting my own characters and being real and deep about feelings and shit so this fic was perfect for me to write. I got carried away, I meant for this to be a oneshot....instead three weeks later I have a 35k worded fic. I am really proud of myself for carrying this out and finishing it and I really hope you enjoy this fic.
> 
> Also there is mentions of rape, abusive relationships, and cheating in chapters to come, so you are forewarned!
> 
> Alriiiight, let's get this story on the road!

It’s hard to describe smells in word form. You can do it in a cinematic performance, zooming a camera in on the heat radiating from a coffee cup, the rich brown coffee glistening with the light of the sun outside the window, or just a plain simple shot of a coffee shop bustling and moving, the sounds of coffee beans being roasted and crushed, people laughing and talking over the soft aesthetic music filtering through the air, and coffee cups smacking down against the counter followed by the heat of the drink blossoming up and warming someone’s face as their unique name is called out.

 

This was a daily scene that Julia lived every day. She tied a tan apron around her body, stuck her name tag in the top left corner of it, and tied back her dirty blonde hair into a lazy ponytail. Her brown eyes sparkled as she worked and she was aware of it. She could feel the sparkles in her system as she bustled about during big rushes of customers, it made her live and thrive. It was what made her love her job, it was her life really. She had moved down to the bustling city of Los Angeles for college, but after a year of stress, boyfriends that cheated and left, and horrible brain frying finals, she was left with nothing but a love for the coffee shop on the corner of Santa Monica pier.

 

This was her home, she felt comfortable and safe here making people drinks day in and out. She knew that she didn’t get out much, only really going out for drinks with some of the other college kids who worked partial shifts every now and then, but even then she didn’t ever connect with them super well. But that didn’t matter to her, she connected with the shop and the people who came in the doors.

 

Especially when the doors banged open on a windy day to reveal a blonde stranger that Julia had never seen before. Julia looked up to greet the person, but she lost her words as her eyes connected with the handsome stranger. His eyes held a depth that made the ocean look like a kiddie pool, yet he had a mischievous spark in them that lit up his demeanor and made his lopsided grin seem so much more genuine.

 

But Julia snapped out of it as a short Asian girl walked in right behind him and placed a hand on his arm. Her heart sank, surprising her at how she had allowed it to connect with this mysterious stranger. She inwardly scolded herself for how easy she had been there, she couldn’t allow herself to slip up and mess everything up for her.

 

She watched out of the corner of her eye as the blonde man approached the counter and watched as she prepared the customer’s coffee who was waiting by the far counter. She slid a lid over the top of the coffee and a cover on the bottom of it, smiling at the customer and bidding him a good day as he walked out. Julia cleared her throat and wiped her hands down on her apron, smiling as un-nervously as she could manage as she made eye contact with the handsome stranger. The Asian girl left the blonde man as she walked to the bathroom.

 

“What can I get started for you today?”

 

“Well I have a bit of a list here,” the man spoke, his voice clear and soothing to Julia’s ears. “I just need a caramel frappe with light whip on it, a green chai tea, a simple americano with three stevia sugars in it, and a caramelizer.”

 

“Alright,” Julia spoke as she wrote everything down on a pad. “Is that all for today?”

 

“Actually,” he leaned forward with his elbow on the counter, “I don’t know what to order for myself. What would you suggest?”

 

“Do you like roast coffees? Those are pretty popular at the moment.” Julia suggested, smiling as the man nodded his head. “I can make a mean Blonde Roasted coffee.”

 

“Alright let’s do that!” The man said with a grin.

 

“Would you like any sweeteners or cream with that?” Julia asked, getting started on the drinks.

 

“Sure, three stevias and light on the cream.”

 

“And can I have a name for that order real quick?” Julia asked, partially wanting to know purely for her own desire.

 

“Shayne.” He replied, running a hand through his hair.

 

“Alright, thank you Shayne, you’re drinks will be out shortly!” Julia said with a sparkling smile.

 

“Do you work here all the time?” Shayne suddenly asked, plopping himself up at the bar so that he could watch as she prepped all the drinks.

 

“Yeah, I’m pretty much the manager.” Julia said with a grin. “You work in an office or something, what with all these orders?”

 

Shayne snorted and chuckled.

 

“You could say that.”

 

Julia smiled, tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear as she poured the sugars in the americano and sat it aside.

 

“So what do you do with your freetime, is there any cool bars around that I don’t know of?” Shayne asked, his blonde hair falling over his brow as he leaned forward more, crossing his arms on top of the bar.

 

“I don’t get out much.” Julia said, wrinkling her nose as Shayne laughed at that, a rich sound that made her stomach flip. “Don’t laugh! I just don’t have anyone around to do anything exciting with.”

 

“Well, if you’re ever lonely on a friday night, my friends and I live pretty abnormal lives and would love the additional company.” Shayne offered as the asian girl stepped out of the bathroom and started chatting with a girl in the corner, hugging her as if she knew her.

 

“I would hate to intrude on you and your girlfriend.” Julia said nervously, putting most of her attention on applying the caramel to the caramel frappe.

 

“Oh, Olivia?” Shayne exclaimed, pointing at the asian girl, “sh-she’s not my girlfriend!” Shayne stuttered.

 

Julia’s cheeks flushed a deep red.

 

“She’s actually lesbian, so yeaaaah, I’m not really her type.” Shayne said with w chuckle.

 

“Oh geez! I’m so sorry for assuming!” Julia apologized in horror.

 

“Oh no worries,” Shayne said with a chuckle. “She’s just helping me with all the drinks since I am prone to awkward mess ups and stumbling over my own feet.”

 

“Oh same here! I am terribly clumsy!” Julia agreed, setting the frappe aside and getting started on the tea.

 

“Well I’m glad she came with me, because I think I would have tripped up even more in your presence.” Shayne said in a horrible rendition of a flirty tone, but it seemed genuine if not extremely awkward on his part.

 

Julia laughed, blushing even harder.

 

“That’s very kind of you, and I’m sorry that my presence causes you to trip and fall more!” Julia said as she poured in the chai. “But I have a weird thing where I like to know a person more before going on a date or anything more than that. I have weird trust issues with personal trauma and experience with this kind of thing.” She explained.

 

“Well that’s no problem to me!” Shayne said, not skipping a beat as Olivia, the asian girl, approached them again. “Sometimes on Friday nights we like to go out to random restaurants in the city and have a big competition at taste testing all the food and meals on the menu and then rating them. It’s a lot of fun and super hilarious, you should join along!”

 

“Oh yes! I love meeting new people!” Olivia exclaimed, jutting her hand forward to Julia. “I’m Olivia, you should totally join us!”

 

“Julia,” Julia introduced, taking Olivia’s hand as she stirred the green chai tea together. “Are you sure that’s fine with all of you? How many more are in your friend group?”

 

“A lot,” Shayne said with a pained tone. “But we all work together and so there’s different groups of us. But I’m just talking about me, Olivia here, Courtney, Keith, Noah, and my old friend Damien. We all spend more time together frequently.”

 

“And it is totally okay for you to join! We need more girls anyways!” Olivia exclaimed, pleading almost.

 

“Well alright,” Julia agreed, getting started on the blonde roast. “Friday’s tomorrow right?” She asked as Shayne and Olivia nodded their heads. “I’m not doing anything really, besides petting my cat and reading poetry for the twenty seventh time again in two weeks.”

 

“That’s great!” Shayne cheered. “I’ll write my number down for you, you can text me once you get off work!”

 

Julia smiled, a beaming smile that lit up her insides as Shayne jotted his number down on a napkin and slid it over for her. She finished up the drinks and put them into drink carriers, handing one to Olivia and the other that was outnumbered to Shayne.

 

“Well alright, that will be twenty one seventy six.” Julia said as she pulled up the register.

 

Shayne handed over his card and as she was swiping it, he pulled a wrinkled twenty dollar bill out of his pocket and stuffed it in the tip jar. Julia couldn’t help but gape at the generous and huge tip.

 

“Hey don’t look so shocked! You have excellence service,” he smirked suddenly, “especially with those looks of yours.”

 

Julia blushed again and handed back Shayne his receipt, a little smiley face and her number jotted down on the bottom of it.

 

“I thought I should return the favor just in case I forget to text you first.” Julia said, trying to be flirtatious, even though she knew she was incapable of it and didn’t ever try and flirt back with guys when they ogled her while she worked. But for some reason, Shayne just seemed to be the exception here.

 

Shayne and Olivia thanked her once again for the coffees and drinks, promising to pop in more often and that they couldn’t wait to see her the next evening.

 

\---

 

_(Random Number): Hey there, this is Shayne from the coffee shop earlier today. I just wanted to text you some of the details for tomorrow night if you’re still interested!_

 

**_Julia (Coffee Shop Girl): hey! I knew I would forget to text ya first! I’m definitely still interested! Give me the plan man!_ **

 

_Shayne (Blondie Roast): Alright! We are meeting at our new location of the night, Komodo at Main St in Venice, and we are going to order the most popular items and rate them! I can pick you up if you would like!_

 

**_Julia (Coffee Shop Girl): alright, I’ve never been there before, it sounds exciting! And sure thing, if it’s no problem for you! I live a couple of blocks away from the coffee shop actually, I can send you the google maps location of it_ **

 

**_(Inserted google maps link)_ **

 

_Shayne (Blondie Roast): Cool beans! That’s totally fine with me!_

 

_And btw, I never say cool beans, that was more an act of speaking out of my ass for a second and I got nervous_

 

**_Julia (Coffee Shop Girl: Oh I say more cringe-worthy statements. I call everyone “son”, I’ve legitimately called my own grown father that before…._ **

 

_Shayne (Blondie Roast): Oh dear, you sound like Noah, you two will get along just fine!_

 

_But yeah, I just like to scream a lot ya know?_

 

**_Julia (Coffee Shop Girl): Oh totally, I feel that all the time. I always have screams bottling up inside of me, waiting to burst forth at the most inopportune time._ **

 

_Shayne (Blondie Roast): Same here! It’s like a defense mechanism at this point really!_

**_Julia (Coffee Shop Girl): Well I just got off work and I have to get up at ass o’clock tomorrow, I should probably be hitting the hay._ **

 

**_It’s been fun chatting with you, and I can’t wait to meet your friends tomorrow!_ **

 

_Shayne (Blondie Roast): Alright, I’ll see you tomorrow! Thanks for texting me back and making me feel like less of a loser…_

 

**_Julia (Coffee Shop Girl): Oh you are so welcome, if anything I’m the loser in the game of life for being twenty two years old and not having any plans on a friday night!_ **

 

**_But on a serious note, you are really are welcome. It made the rest of my day and shift._ **

 

_Shayne (Blondie Roast): And this is why I am here, to change that up and get your little ass in gear to having a social life!_

 

_Goodnight Julia!_

 

**_Julia (Coffee Shop Girl): Goodnight Shayne_ **

 

\---

 

Shayne visited the shop the next morning, just a couple minutes after Julia opened the doors. Her coworkers, Caleb and Sammie, were hungover and tired, grumbling as Shayne walked in with a bright smile on his face, a foreign look on any customers face at six in the morning.

 

“Why are you up this early man?!” Julia exclaimed, her coworkers staring at her oddly as she watched Shayne walk up to her.

 

“Work has me up this early! If I weren’t working though, I would not be anywhere near comprehensible right now.” Shayne said with a chuckle, the sound so unique and genuine that it made Julia’s stomach do a flip every time.

 

“Where do you work? And will you be trying anything new today or sticking to the Blonde Roast, blondie?” Julia said with a quirk of her brow.

 

Shayne grinned and propped himself up against the counter.

 

“Blondie? Really? Is that my contact name in your phone?”

 

“....Maybe?” Julia squeaked.

 

Shayne just doubled back with laughter.

 

“Oh goodness, I think I’ll switch it up and try the dripp coffee. My boss had one of those the other day and it smelled excellent!” Shayne said.

 

Julia nodded her head, trying to hide her blush behind her hair as she started on the coffee.

 

“But yeah, I work for a company that films and records videos.” Shayne explained. “Do you watch any YouTube at all?”

 

“Not as much, since I work a lot, but I do watch some random channels from when I subscribed in high school.” Julia replied back.

 

“Like what exactly? Wait, lemme guess! You watch the makeup gurus and diy stuff?” Shayne guessed.

 

“How generic of a guess that is!” Julia replied with a raised brow. “I do watch Zoella and Rosanna Pansino. But I find Liza Koshy hilarious and I love binge watching her videos whenever I have the chance. When I was in high school though, I really liked Dan and Phil a lot, back when I was a little angsty but I’ve kept up with them as much as I can.”

 

“Do you know who Smosh is?” Shayne asked.

 

Julia scrunched her brow, trying to think of where she had heard that name before. She suddenly brightened as she remembered seeing a video here and there of two random guys yelling a lot.

 

“Yeah! It was those two guys, what were their names? Anthony was it?” Julia asked, confused as she tried to remember her high school days.

 

“Ian and Anthony,” Shayne corrected. “They are the founders of Smosh, even though Anthony just left the company this year. They’ve become so famous in the past ten years, so they basically made their YouTube channels into a company and hired actors to act out their skits, gamers to play video games on their gaming channels, and people to do challenges and games and stuff. Basically, I work for Smosh as one of the main actors.” Shayne explained.

 

“Oh wow! So I am talking to an internet celebrity then!” Julia exclaimed, her eyes wide as she poured in the cream to the drink.

 

“Uh yeah kind of,” Shayne said as he scratched the back of his neck. “Yeah, we are filming for a skit today. Have you seen any of the skits before?”

 

“I may have, but that was a while ago.” Julia said as she slipped the lid over the top of the drink.

 

“You should watch some of our videos sometime, but no pressure! All of us tonight that you will be meeting, we all work on the videos together. Oh and that reminds me, are you okay to be possibly on camera? My friend Courtney likes to vlog these things sometimes…” Shayne asked, biting his lip nervously.

 

“Oh no problem! I’m fine with it!” Julia said, grinning as she drew a little smiley face and the smosh logo (that she had definitely googled while Shayne had been giving her the description of the channel) on the side of the cup.

 

“Great! Now what do I owe ya?” Shayne asked as he grabbed his cup.

 

“That will be two seventy five please!” Julia said, taking the crumbled dollar bills from Shayne, noting that he placed a ten in her tips this time.

 

“Alright, well I will pick you up at your place, does five thirty work for you?” Shayne asked.

 

“Yeah! That gives me just enough time to get home, shower, and get ready.” Julia replied.

 

“I’ll see you then!” Shayne said with a sweet smile as he walked out the door with a wave, adjusting the beanie he was wearing over his blonde bangs.

 

Sammie walked up behind Julia as she watched him go.

 

“He totally thinks you’re hot.”

 

\---

 

Shayne pulled up in front of Julia’s apartment building at exactly five twenty six.

 

_Blondie Dripp: Hey I’m here!_

 

**_Juliza Koshy: WHAT_ **

 

**_I am sooooo not ready just yet!_ **

 

_Blondie Dripp: How long does it take you to get ready?!_

 

**_Juliza Koshy: At least seven years, I need to process all the souls I’ve gathered and sucked upon for my beauty to shine through_ **

 

_Blondie Dripp: Sounds sexy as hell (fire emojis)_

 

_I’m like imagining this in the context that you are a demon in some cheesy horror movie and I’m just the typical horny teenage boy who’s just like “hey so, you got boobs tho?”_

 

**_Juliza Koshy: Oooooh yes! I would watch that!_ **

 

**_But instead of boobs, you have to say “boobies”, because this is a seventeen year old teen virgin we are talking about here_ **

 

_Blondie Dripp: YES_

 

_“We don’t say that horrendous word, Michael, not in my good christian suburbs! It’s breasts or boobies and that’s it!”_

 

**_Juliza Koshy: YEEEES_ **

 

**_This needs to be a movie, I will fight any mainstream horror movie director for this piece of art!_ **

 

_Blondie Dripp: How are you still getting ready_ **_and_ ** _texting me at the same time?!_

 

**_Juliza Koshy: I have a third hand_ **

 

**_Duhhhh, I’m a demon, didn’t you remember????_ **

 

_Blondie Dripp: I didn’t realize demons have three arms_

 

**_Juliza Koshy: They are all phonies, the real demons out there are the third armed ones, you need to watch out for those_ **

 

_Blondie Dripp: Dear god, HURRY UP, I don’t want to pee myself laughing in front of your house!_

 

**_Juliza Koshy: Threaten the demon Julius one more time and you will become the final soul I shall sucketh upon for my final form_ **

 

_Blondie Dripp: STOOOOP_

 

**_Juliza Koshy: I can hear your screaming and laughing from my bathroom, you goon_ **

 

_Blondie Dripp: Well hurry up so you can hear it in person;)_

 

\---

 

Julia had been nervous to meet the Smosh squad (she had googled them earlier, learning their names so she didn’t butcher them, but reminding herself to act surprised at meeting them) earlier, but pulling up next to Keith and Noah jamming to some tween pop song released the nerves in her shoulders. She started laughing hysterically as Keith opened his car door and started twerking in the parking lot. Julia knew instantly that she would love these people. She watched as Shayne opened her car door and started laughing at something Noah was saying to Keith that caused him to turn and smack Noah in the arm.

 

They got into the restaurant and waited for Courtney and Olivia, since Damien had been the first one there and saved them seats.

 

“Guys, this is Julia, Julia this is part of the squad.” Shayne introduced, pointing first at Keith. “This is Keith, Noah, and Damien.”

 

“It’s nice to officially meet you!” Keith greeted, pulling Julia right into a hug, which startled and pleased her all at once. “Shayne wouldn’t stop jabbering about you all of yesterday and today.”

 

Julia blushed bright red as Shayne looked down at the ground. Damien made a cooing sound and started nudging Shayne as Noah got in on it and started making a weird noise, that ended up in all three of the guys making weird pterodactyl noises in the middle of the restaurant. And coincidentally, that’s when Courtney and Olivia walked in.

 

“It’s nice to see you again!” Olivia greeted enthusiastically, giving her a hug just like Keith had. “This is my good pal, Courtney Miller—”

 

Noah coughed and added into Olivia’s sentence, “and girlfriiiiend!” as everyone oohed at them. Olivia flushed a pretty shade of red as Courtney fake chewed them out in one of her nasally acting voices.

 

“It’s nice to meet you officially, Julia! Shayne has been—”

 

“Yes yes, we know, I’ve been talking nonstop about her. Hahahaha laugh at your stupid jibe!” Shayne interrupted, his cheeks red too.

 

Everyone laughed and went along with it as they all got comfortable around the table.

 

“Alright! Let’s look at the menu!” Damien announced.

 

“Okay, how about this,” Olivia spoke up as they had observed their menus for a couple minutes, Courtney pulling out her vlog camera. “We order a couple different chicken meals, get some of the combos, and then try a couple of salads?”

 

“I say let’s definitely do the Asian Marinated Chicken.” Noah said.

 

“We have to do something spicy!” Courtney piped in. “The Java Pork looks good!”

 

“I’ve been here before, and y’all must try the tacos, so I think we need to get a couple of tacos.” Keith butted in.

 

“How about a stir fry?” Julia piped up, “like the stir fry soi? That sounds pretty good, it has tofu in it and it’s vegetarian.”

 

“We do need to eat some veggies y’all.” Olivia said. “That one is pretty good, I’ve heard.”

 

“Okay, let’s do the killer combo, so that we get those tacos and can share them.” Shayne said, reasoning. “And then we can get the marinated chicken, the spicy stuff, the weird veggie thing,” he chuckled as julia scoffed loudly, “and then let’s get some of the garlic parmesan fries, and a salad of your choice?”

 

“Sounds like a plan!” Noah exclaimed, closing his menu.

 

“Nose goes on going up and ordering!” Courtney exclaimed. “Julia is exempted though, since she’s new.”

 

Everyone smacked a hand to their faces quickly.

 

“Wait! Julia should judge and see so that it’s more orderly!” Keith yelled.

 

“Alright,” Julia said through laughter, “three, two, one, go!” She watched closely as everyone smacked a hand to their nose. She grinned as she noted that Shayne had been last, just behind Courtney. “It was Shayne!”

 

“WHAT?!” Shayne exclaimed. “This is because I called you a demon, isn’t it?!”

 

“Woah, your flirting skills are way off then, buddy.” Damien exclaimed.

 

“I’m just playing the role of a judge fairly.” Julia said, crossing her arms over her chest.

 

“Well I call bullshit on your judgement!” Shayne announced through fits of laughter.

 

“You will be next, Shayne Robert Topp. Prepare thy soul to be suckethed.” Julia muttered in her demon voice, making everyone busted into laughter.

 

“Oh god!” Shayne exclaimed.

 

Everyone laughed, which made Julia laugh. She could feel something, something shifting and changing in her once boring life. She lived the same events every day: wake up at five, go to work, go to lunch at the neighboring chipotle and say hi to the workers there she was somewhat friendly with, go back to work, go home, read the same stupid books she was obsessed with, maybe watch a show, go to sleep, and then repeat. She had gotten used to the idea of living this way until something great and amazing popped into her life and spiced things up. With the way that her lips quirked up more and her spirits soared everytime he looked at her, Shayne seemed to be that great and amazing thing.

 

She had said that about the last guy in her life, yes, but who was she kidding? Brayden was boring! He didn’t understand her jokes like Shayne did in the two days that she had known him! She wasn’t kidding herself, it was too soon to be feeling such butterflies, but she knew that there was something with this blonde stranger who came into her coffee shop everyday.

 

So Julia leaned back in her seat and admired the smiles on everyone's faces, the way that they so easily trusted each other and so earnestly wanted to include her in their crazy lives. She listened to a story that Courtney was telling about how Olivia had fallen on ketchup that day and told herself that she would allow her broken heart to open up just one last time. One last time to shout at the sky to screw itself and it’s stupid pattern of leaving a trail of broken hearts for her. She was done with being broken and sad, so she watched Shayne order their food and answered questions to her new friends amiably.

 

\---

 

_Shayne-Fry Soi: YOU DONT WORK TODAY_

 

**_Julius the Demon™: AW DO YOU MISS ME_ **

 

_Shayne-Fry Soi: YOUR COWORKER SAMMIE IS AN ASSHAT_

 

**_Julius the Demon™: I AM WELL AWARE OF THAT_ **

 

_Shayne-Fry Soi: WHY ARE WE STILL SCREAMING_

 

**_Julius the Demon™: I DONT KNOW STOP IT_ **

 

_Shayne-Fry Soi: YOU FIRST_

 

**_Julius the Demon™: YOURE SUCH A BABY_ **

 

_Shayne-Fry Soi: GOD MOM_

 

**_Julius the Demon™: IS MY CONTACT NAME STILL JULIUS_ **

 

_Shayne-Fry Soi: HELL YEAH IT IS_

 

**_Julius the Demon™: Good god son_ **

 

**_Also I’m sorry for not being there, I’m trying to give Sammie and Caleb more hours so that they can get more experience._ **

 

_Shayne-Fry Soi: You’re good! It was just a little disconcerting to see Sammie smiling evilly at me and not even asking what I wanted before ringing me up_

 

_And btw, you’ve been giving me discounts on my drinks for the past two weeks?!_

 

**_Julius the Demon™: ...maybe... bUT THATS WHAT YOU GET FOR NOT TAKING YOUR RECEIPTS_ **

 

**_What did he make you?!_ **

 

**_I swear if its his concoction of Bean Juice….imma slap him_ **

 

_Shayne-Fry Soi:....it might have been…._

 

_….and it might have been kind of interesting in flavor…._

 

**_Julius the Demon™: HES TURNED YOU AGAINST ME_ **

 

_Shayne-Fry Soi: I SWEAR IT WAS ONLY ONCE, IM LOYAL I SWEAR_

 

**_Julius the Demon™: There’s no excuse for this betrayal_ **

 

**_...except for one little teeny tiny thing…_ **

 

_Shayne-Fry Soi: And what would that be?_

 

**_Julius the Demon™: You have to try my own concoction!_ **

 

**_I swear it’s not called fuckin Bean Juice though_ **

 

_Shayne-Fry Soi: Ooooooh, sounds promising, but can you top such a superb name as Bean Juice™_

 

**_Julius the Demon™: Bean Juice doesn’t deserve a trademark_ **

 

\---

 

Julia had gotten used to the sound of regulars in her shop. Mr. Kinney, the high school english teacher, always walked with a quick skip in his step as he opened the door. Mrs. Grey, the old lady from the bus at ten twenty five every morning, had a limp and her cane scratched across the wood paneling on the floor. The lesbian couple, who came in just before the lunch rush, always were giggling and whispering to each other fondly, the trinkets on one of their purses always jingling as they walked hand in hand. The hipster man who came at eight o’clock sharp every morning and stayed until one in the afternoon on the dot walked with heavy footsteps in combat boots and he was always clearing his throat loudly.

 

But Shayne seemed to carry the embodiment of positivity with him when he walked in, because Julia could swear she heard the birds chirping outside as he opened the door. She would smile, just knowing that his sunny smile was about to greet her, making her pleasant mood twenty times better. Her coworkers knew to allow her the time to talk and chat with him, if another customer came in behind, they would take care of their order so that she could focus on Shayne. She _was_ the fill-in manager of the place after all, so she had some leeway with certain customers.

 

But he always came in at different times. Sometimes he would be in three times a day at different times. He would sometimes come in at six o’clock sharp to film videos for Smosh, he would sometimes come in after the big rush in the afternoon around two ish when work was slow and the gang needed a pick-me-up, and then sometimes he would come when she worked later hours and bring some of the gang with him after work and they would chat with her at the bar as she served people.

 

The door opened and the birds chirped again. Julia had been in the middle of cleaning something underneath the counter when she heard the telltale sound of Shayne walking in. She moved too fast and bumped her head against the counter painfully, making her shriek.

 

“Jesus christ, Jules! You don’t hit your head on countertops!” Shayne exclaimed, leaping forward over the bar to settle his hands on her shoulders.

 

She saw stars for a second, but after a few moments she was able to see clearer. And also that she was about five inches away from his face. Julia felt her cheeks flush bright red as Shayne held her head up, staring into her eyes with a seriousness that made her shaky and weak in the knees.

 

“How many fingers am I holding up?” Shayne asked, his voice sounding more like a whisper since he was so close.

 

“I don’t know, your face is so close.” Julia muttered sarcastically.

 

“Oh shit, sorry.” Shayne muttered, chuckling at the sarcasm in her tone and held up the fingers again.

 

“Okay, you’re holding up three.” Julia said as she stood up straighter and blinked a few times.

 

“Correct! Good job! Now why did you hit your head?” He asked as he plopped himself on the bar stool he always sat on.

 

“I heard you come in and I was down cleaning something.” Julia said as if it should be obvious.

 

“Really? How’d you know it was me?” He asked, scrunching his brow up.

 

Julia blushed again and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and into the dad cap she was wearing.

 

“I know every single one of my regulars and how they enter the shop.” She said, trying to put more confidence into her words and her pose.

 

“Oh really?” Shayne questioned with a raise of one of his elegant brows. “What do I sound like?”

 

“It’s just like the rule of magicians,” Julia said with a little smirk, “she must never tell her secrets.”

 

“Bullshit,” Shayne said with a laugh, “now what is this concoction of yours that, I daresay, is better than the Bean Juice?”

 

“BEAN JUICE IS THE BEST.” Sammie yelled from the kitchen.

 

“SHUT UP.” Julia yelled back with a giggle.

 

She turned back around to Shayne with a grin and grabbed a medium sized cup.

 

“I like to call it The Gingerbread Man.”

 

“Why’s that?” Shayne asked, leaning forward with a grin.

 

“Because, it has one teaspoon of ground cinnamon, a quarter teaspoon of ground nutmeg, an eighth teaspoon of ground allspice, half a teaspoon of ground ginger,  one tablespoon of molasses, three tablespoons of ground coffee, and some warm milk.” Julia spoke every ingredient as she dropped it in and did her magic.

 

“It’s a recipe my mother learned and I learned from her.” Julia said as she poured the hot milk in. “She would make it for me when I was stressed with school or upset about something and needed a pick-me-up.”

 

“I definitely am not feeling stressed at all.” Shayne said with a chuckle as Julia settled a lid over the top of the cup and rang up the coffee, giving him her discount once again.

 

“But now you know about it, so if you like it and you come in and need it, I will know and make it.” Julia’s eyes glowed as she smiled and handed the cup to him.

 

Shayne grinned and patted her head fondly.

 

“Don’t hit your head again, clumsy.”

 

Julia blushed like a schoolgirl as Shayne walked back to work and left her alone, her feelings scattered like the galaxies that she related to the colors of his eyes.

 

\---

 

**_Clumsy McClumsington: Noah just stopped by and said that I am invited to Keith’s birthday party this weekend….affirmative?_ **

 

_A La Latte Topp: Uh duh! You’ve spent three Friday dinner nights with us and been in two vlogs, we would love you to be there!_

 

_Why do you even ask, of course you’re invited!_

 

**_Clumsy McClumsington: idk, I’m still getting used to the fact that I have friends_ **

 

_A La Latte Topp: well no worries Jules, you are always invited_

 

**_Clumsy McClumsington: why thank mr. Topp Hat!_ **

 

_A La Latte Topp: Dear god, why the bad nicknames?!_

 

**_Clumsy McClumsington: am I still Clumsy McClumsington as your contact name for me?_ **

 

_A La Latte Topp: uhhh yeah…_

 

**_Clumsy McClumsington: I think that’s pretty self explanatory_ **

 

_A La Latte Topp: now that’s just rude!_

 

**_Clumsy McClumsington: nahhh just facts_ **

 

**_And are you gonna pick me up for Keith’s party?_ **

 

_A La Latte Topp: oh sure thang sweet thang_

 

**_Clumsy McClumsington: you must never use thang twice in one sentence you despicable human being_ **

 

—-

 

Keith’s party was on a Saturday night at his place, where there were more people than Julia had ever met. She was a little intimidated as Shayne walked in with her to the wide living room full of people her age drinking and partying.

 

It was like Shayne could read her mind right there and then. He leaned over and nudged her arm, giving her a playful smile as she tugged at her purse nervously.

 

“Don’t worry, they won’t bite. Not on my watch.”

 

Julia smiled up at him, nudging him back with her shoulder.

 

“Thanks Shay-Shay.”

 

“Dude seriously?!” Shayne exclaimed, making Julia bust out into a fit of giggles.

 

Keith and Noah eventually found them, pulling the two more into the crowd and trapping them in the room that smelled of sweat and alcohol.

 

“I didn’t mean for this many people to show up, but the more the merrier am I right?!” Keith exclaimed as they walked into the kitchen where Courtney and Olivia sat cuddling together at the dinner table.

 

“Hey guys!” Courtney greeted, waving with one hand while the other was wrapped within Olivia’s.

 

“Hey,” Julia greeted with a smile, “I brought you a present Keith, where should I put it?”

 

“Oooh! Do you mind if I open it now?!” Keith asked, his eyes wide as he accepted the present from her.

 

“Sure!” Julia said enthusiastically. “Don’t let me stop you!”

 

“Awesome, thanks!” Keith exclaimed, ripping into the wrapping paper.

 

Julia watched in anticipation as Keith threw the wrapping paper to the ground and started to open up the box. She jumped as a hand grabbed hers suddenly, a warm and slightly calloused one. She looked up with wide eyes at Shayne, who just smiled softly at her.

 

“You don’t need to be so nervous, he would be over the moon if you got him a half assed present like a rock or something.” Shayne assured with a squeeze of his hand.

 

Julia trembled slightly from the feeling of his breath on her ear and the soft skin of his hand against her small one. Keith yelled loudly in joy as he pulled out a hat with a feather sticking out of it.

 

“I’ve always wanted one of these! They are so cool!” He squealed. “Thank you so much Julia!” He ran forward and smashed her into an embrace.

 

“O-Okay, you’re welcome!” She said slightly startled. “I’m glad you like it!”

 

“Like it?” Keith said with a high pitch in his voice. “I love it!” He exclaimed.

 

Everyone laughed as Keith smashed the hat down on his head and posed on a chair. Noah pulled out his phone and snapped a picture, giggling to himself.

 

As the night wore on, Julia found herself becoming more and more comfortable with her surroundings. She had picked up a beer after a little while and was able to enjoy it and not be freaked out by the chaos happening around her. Courtney and Olivia got her her to dance after a bit, twirling her between the two of them and showing her easy little dance moves she could do with her hips. Keith made her laugh through the night by doing outrageous dance moves and including random strangers in them and getting them to dance with him. He ended up getting Noah in on one of his dance moves and it ended up in Noah falling on top of him and everyone screaming “OTP” at them.

 

But Shayne was what made her stay sane. Whenever her anxiety would pick up or a guy would look her way, she would turn and find the blonde and he would flash her a sweet smile. Julia knew that Shayne was an attractive person, she blushed a lot to at least be a little bit attracted to him. But she couldn’t place where she got her blind trust in the guy. There was something about the quirkiness of the guy that made her comfortable and notice all the little details about him.

 

It wasn’t until she turned around and he wasn’t there that she started to panic. She tried to calm her heart down, but something filled her lungs and she couldn’t breathe properly. She whipped her head around, trying to find his blonde head through the crowd, but he was nowhere to be found.

 

“Hey I need to use the bathroom, do you know where it is?” She asked Courtney, trying not to show how anxious she was feeling.

 

“Yeah it’s up the stairs and to the right, you okay?” Courtney asked, gently placing a hand on Julia’s shoulder.

 

“I-I’m fine, I just need to pee really bad! And I need some a-air.” She said, somewhat telling the truth.

 

Julia pushed through the crowd, trying her hardest to keep breathing properly. She climbed up the stairs, past a couple of people making out in the corner, and into the bathroom. She shut the door and locked it, her hands trembling as she backed away and looked at herself in the mirror.

 

She shakily turned the faucet on and dampened her cheeks and brushed her hair out of her face. She sighed, somewhat embarrassed over having an anxiety attack over socializing with other people her age. She couldn’t believe that so many people in her life had let her down to a point where she couldn’t trust an entire generation that she belonged in. But really, it was the parties and the whole scene behind it that freaked her out. The fake smiles, the short skirts seeking attention and validation, and the lust filled individuals out to seek out their prey.

 

Julia took another deep breath, reminding her stupid brain to forget about Brayden and the betrayal she had experienced. She needed to focus on the now experiences, the friends she was making. So Julia squared her shoulders, dried her face, and walked out of the bathroom with more confidence. Something inside of her (the sensation in her belly that sparked whenever Shayne spoke to her) was making her walk with a confidence, her eyes glancing around for Shayne but this time with less amounts of anxiety.

 

But her eyes caught on him talking to a girl with nutmeg brown hair and a wide smile. The sensation almost died right there and then, shrivelling up within her, but Olivia pulled her onto the dance floor. She seemed to sense Julia’s disappointment, looking over in Shayne’s direction herself.

 

“I really hope it’s not what we all are assuming.” Is all she said before she continued to distract Julia with her awkward dance moves.

 

\---

 

_Shay-Shay: Do you have a concoction for hangovers?_

 

_Like some sort of specialty for poor lightweights like myself?_

 

**_JEWlia: mayyybbbbeee_ **

 

**_But it will cost you;)_ **

 

_Shay-Shay: oh goodness_

 

_You want to finally kill me_

 

**_JEWlia: you can read my mind!_ **

 

**_Good job son_ **

 

_Shay-Shay: Now we’re calling each other by family names?_

 

_At this rate, you’re the weird wine aunt_

 

**_JEWlia: Stahp_ **

 

**_Get down here, Sammie has gotten in the mindset of seeing you now!_ **

 

_Shay-Shay: Like I come for Sammie, pssssh_

 

\---

 

Julia smiled as the doors opened and Shayne walked through, even if her smile wasn’t as bright as it always was. She was crossing her fingers that the girl from last night didn’t latch her way into Shayne’s bed the night before. She wouldn’t have known because Courtney and Olivia gave her a ride home instead, since it seemed that Shayne was preoccupied.

 

“How was the rest of your evening?” Julia asked, getting started on a simple dark roasted coffee.

 

“Oh no,” Shayne muttered, “you use fancy words when you’re upset. Spill the beans man, what’s up?”

 

Julia looked up startled, her cheeks blushing from shock at Shayne knowing her so well in just under a month and also anger because she was upset with him in the first place. But she was also upset with herself for being angry for no real reason. She knew that Shayne was attractive, but she couldn’t explain the twisting, gutted feeling in her chest whenever she thought of the girl talking to Shayne the night before.

 

“I-It’s nothing….” Julia stuttered, pouring creamer in her coffee.

 

Shayne stared at her for a couple of seconds, watching her pour in the sugars and put away her supplies. She could feel his stare and decided to not let it get to her nerves.

 

“So what will this cost ya?” Shayne suddenly asked, ditching the weirdness.

 

“I’m not sure,” Julia said teasingly, smirking as she thought of something. “Maybe a turn to see you in your work environment sometime? Switch it up a bit maybe?”

 

“That would actually be easy, but you work during my work hours.” Shayne said with a grumpy edge to his voice.

 

“Oh bummer, I guess I will sabotage your abilities to drive and have a car to my advantage and make you drive me to get french fries and ice cream at three in the morning whenever I want.” Julia said teasingly as she pulled up his order.

 

“I would actually be down for that.” Shayne said with a grin.

 

Julia grinned back, swiping his card and handing him his coffee.

 

“I’ll see you in the near future, Mr. Topp-Blonde-Man.” Julia said with a wave as he walked towards the door.

 

Shayne waved back and stood there for a second hesitantly.

 

“If I ever do something to offend or hurt you, you’ll tell me right?” He asked.

 

“Of course.” Julia said with a hesitant smile.

 

Shayne walked out with another wave, the tilt of his smile sending butterflies and confusion raging through Julia’s insides.

 

\---

  


 

_ Shay-Shay: Damien and I say heyyyy _

 

_ We are also very coffee deprived _

 

_ And bored _

 

**_JEWlia: oh really???_ **

 

**_Who could have known?_ **

****

_ Shay-Shay: Also these losers say hi _

_ And are also bored _

**_JEWlia: Hello fam! I too am filled with crippling depression_ **

_ Shay-Shay: geez, that sounds brutal _

**_JEWlia: it is man, it’s pretty legit_ **

_ Shay-Shay: How’s Sammie faring with you? Has he combusted from your weirdness yet? _

 

__

 

**_JEWlia: Sammie says hi_ **

_ Shay-Shay: omgggg _

_ That is definitely now my screensaver _

**_JEWlia: really?! I didn’t realize it was Sammie all along that you wanted to get to;)_ **

_ Shay-Shay: ohhhh yessss _

_ Daddy needs his juice;) _

**_JEWlia: we will no longer be on speaking terms now_ **

**_Go to your room_ **

_ Shay-Shay: BUT MOOOOOM _

_ But are you jelly though???? _

**_JEWlia: no I’m peanut butter_ **

**_You racist_ **

_  
  
  
_

\---

_  
  
_

Julia knew it was a big day when Shayne entered the shop two weeks later with a piece of paper in hand and a stressed out expression. She turned and frowned at him while polishing one of her cups.

“Are you dying? Do I need to call 911?” She asked skeptically.

“So to speak, yes,” Shayne said through deep breaths as if he had been running a mile before getting there, “I have a Smosh company order….” He muttered.

Julia’s eyes widened as she set the cup down and turned around the corner to the kitchen.

“Sammie! I’m going to need you and Caleb’s help!” She yelled.

“How many orders are there?” She asked Shayne, turning to him.

“About twenty....” Shayne muttered, running a hand through his hair, a clear indicator that he was stressed.

“Oh boy,” Julia muttered to herself, “are they all the same size?”

“Yes, thankfully!” Shayne said with relief. “They are all mediums.”

“Okay,” Julia said as Caleb and Sammie trailed out of the kitchen towards her. “What’s the first order?” She asked as she held up a cup and a pen, hands waiting.

With the help of Sammie and Caleb, Julia was able to bust out the orders in under ten minutes. There were quite a few orders that were all similar, so that helped a bunch, but Julia felt a breeze of confidence fill her insides as she got to work. She always liked the feeling of bustling around her little shop, adding ingredients in, stirring them, and moving her hips to the slow swaying music that filtered through the entire building.

“So, do you get orders like these very often?” Shayne asked propping himself up on one of the barstools.

“Sometimes,” Julia replied, “it’s usually big businesses, like you guys. Sometimes we do these orders for them when they promote our coffee.”

Shayne hummed, propping his elbow up on the counter and rubbing his chin with his hand.

“Interesting, is there a delivery fee combined with this? Like if I required some assistance in getting these coffees back to the office?” He asked, smirking.

Julia grinned, knowing what he was getting at.

“Sure thing, you can just tip me generously, I wouldn’t mind.” She teased.

“I’m sure you wouldn’t!” He said with a bark of laughter as he settled a ten dollar bill in her tips.

“I think I might need Sammie’s help…” Julia said as she started on the last coffee.

“Oh don’t bother, I texted Damien and Olivia, they should be here any second now.” Shayne said right as the doors opened.

“Heyo!” Damien and Olivia exclaimed at the same time, earning a giggle from Julia.

“We is here to help!” Olivia said, repeating what Shayne had just moments earlier.

“Alright, you guys have perfect timing,” Julia said as she settled the last coffee into a drink carrier. “Okay, start taking some! There’s five drink carriers, so one of you is going to hold two.”

“I shall take that heavy burden.” Damien announced, grabbing the second carrier in his other hand.

Olivia grabbed one, then Shayne as Julia grabbed the last one and rounded around the corner.

“You two,” she said, pointing to Sammie and Caleb, “don’t burn this place to the ground, you hear me?”

“Sir yes sir!” The two boys exclaimed, mock saluting.

Julia narrowed her eyes playfully as Shayne laughed. He held the door open for her with his free hand and allowed her to walk through first.

“Why thank you, kind sir.” She said as she followed Damien and Olivia down the sidewalk.

“So how far away is the office from here?” Julia asked.

“A couple of minutes actually,” Shayne said, “that’s why it was so easy for me to find your shop.”

“We are neighbors then!” She exclaimed, giggling.

“Thanks a bunch, Ju-Ju Lia,” Damien thanked, using his stupid nickname for her, “we were in real need of these today!”

“Why’s that?” Julia asked, ignoring the nickname she had (forlornly) gotten over.

“We are trying to plan out a liveshow for the Smosh Pit channel and we are coming up with the battle plans.” Shayne explained.

“Ahhh, that seems fun.” Julia said sarcastically.

“It’s a lot of work,” Olivia said with a sigh, “especially with finding companies to donate to us.”

As they walked along the road and up to the Smosh building, Julia held a little blossoming idea in her head that made her smile. They were allowed in through security, Julia was checked over and allowed entry, and then the four of them gathered into one of the elevators. Damien was telling a story about Boze and how she had actually snorted Coca-Cola and almost died and Olivia was dying with laughter, which made Julia laugh as well. She didn’t even notice when Shayne snapped a picture of her, smiling fondly down at it.

 

They entered the office to be immediately bombarded by Keith, Courtney, and Noah.

 

“Julia!” All three of them screamed in unison at seeing the blonde girl.

 

“Damien!” Damien screamed too, earning a round of laughter from everyone.

 

“Alright,” Julia said after giving Courtney and Noah side hugs, “it’s a good thing I wrote everyone’s names down on separate cups!” 

 

The room they had entered was a large office with several people sitting around a long table. Shayne and Noah passed out coffees as Olivia and Julia lifted them out of their cartons and called out names. Julia got to meet several new people, like the producers, P.A’s, and the writers. Everyone was super sweet, Julia noted.

 

“Now, everyone give a big thank you to Julia from Brick Road Coffee just around the corner!” Shayne called out, wrapping an arm around her shoulder.

 

Julia flushed bright red as the entire room thanked her, all shouting and smiling in unison. 

 

“Can I actually talk to you for one second, Julia?” One of the guys spoke, Shayne had introduced him as one of his bosses Sunny.

 

“Yeah sure thing!” Julia said, twisting her fingers nervously.

 

Shayne squeezed her shoulder as she walked past, giving her a little soft smile of assurance.

 

“So you’re the assistance manager of Brick Road Coffee, correct?” Sunny asked as they stepped into the hall.

 

“Yes I am, however I am more of the manager at this point since the original manager has been on vacation for a couple of months and has expressed wanting to give it up to me. It just hasn’t been made official just yet.” Julia answered.

 

“So you would be the one to speak to about possibly working together on something?” Sunny asked, hinting to Julia what he was getting at.

 

“I actually was going to ask you myself, if our shop could help donate to your livestream and future endeavors in return for a shout out of sorts or advertisement.” Julia suggested first.

 

“It seems we are both on the same page then!” Sunny said with a laugh. “We would love to give you an advertisement, even make it a permanent one and to be able to reach out to guys in any way if you ever need it in return for coffee and a donation.”

 

“I think that sounds like a plan, Mr. Peabody.” Julia said, grinning as she shook his large hand. “I just need to let the original manager know, but at this point I think we can give it a green light!”

 

“It’s been a pleasure! What is your last name again?” He asked.

 

“Lewis,” Julia said, “Julia Lewis.” She shook his hand with a grin.

  
  
  


\---

  


@JulesLews:  _ saturdays are for coffee (that’s not from your own shop) and friends☕️ _

Tagged: @oliviasui & @co_mill

 

Comments:

@noahgrossman214:  _ what the heck???? Why am i not here?! _

@keithleakjr:  _ you ROCK those shades gurl! _

@shaynetopp:  _ I’m going to have to agree with @noahgrossman214, why am I not here either? _

@co_mill:  _ YASSS QUEEN _

@damienhaas:  _ @shaynetopp i’m even here, you see that black blur in the background? _

@JulesLews:  _ @damienhaas @shaynetopp @noahgrossman214 ever heard of a ladies day?! And ew, damien, you creep! _

@thesammieman:  _ you’ve betrayed us _

 

\---

  
  


_ JUIIIICE: Hey do you need any help with carrying the orders over tomorrow morning for the stream? _

 

**_JU(ICE)LIA: sure thing sir, that would be much appreciated_ **

 

**_Especially with these noodle arms of mine_ **

 

_ JUIIIICE: splendid _

 

_ And did you just describe your arms as limp pieces of bread? _

 

**_JU(ICE)LIA: Maybe I did!_ **

 

**_And when you put it that way, it doesn’t sound as exciting:(_ **

 

_ JUIIIICE: what’s so exciting about noodles?! _

 

**_JU(ICE)LIA: EVERYTHING_ **

 

**_NOODLES ARE MY PASSION IN LIFE_ **

 

_ JUIIIICE: and coffee isn’t? _

 

_ Tsk tsk, I’m telling Sammie _

 

**_JU(ICE)LIA: well i need some sort of hobby, coffee can’t be my everyday thing! Duh!_ **

 

_ JUIIIICE: what is your passion in life? _

 

_ I don’t believe I’ve ever asked you that before _

 

_ And that just seems like something friends are supposed to know about each other _

 

_ Don’t mind me being invasive and weird:/ _

 

**_JU(ICE)LIA: oh I don’t know, I’ve always loved books and literature…._ **

 

**_Maybe I’ll become this generations JK Rowling and write an amazing novel_ **

 

_ JUIIIICE: i would totally buy it _

 

_ Have you written anything before? _

 

**_JU(ICE)LIA: why the sudden interest, Mr. Topp-Man?_ **

 

**_And yes, I’ve dabbled a bit but it’s not anything good…_ **

 

_ JUIIIICE: idk, it feels like we’ve known each other forever yet I barely know that much about you _

 

_ And hey, I would love to read it sometime, no matter how good or bad it is. I like books! _

 

**_JU(ICE)LIA: yeah, I feel that too_ **

 

**_And seriously, I’ve never edited it, I just write whatever comes into my disturbing mind at three in the morning!_ **

 

_ JUIIIICE: but that’s the best stuff! The raw, unhinged reality of who you are! _

 

**_JU(ICE)LIA: that’s deep man_ **

 

_ JUIIIICE: oh btw, is my contact still fuckin JUIIIICE? _

 

**_JU(ICE)LIA: YES! Do you wanna see my contact picture for you too?!_ **

_ JUIIIICE: WHAT THE HELL _

 

**_JU(ICE)LIA: IM ACTUALLY DYING_ **

 

_ JUIIIICE: THAT IS BEAUTIFUL _

 

_ DADDY FINALLY GOT HIS JUIIIIIICE _

 

**_JU(ICE)LIA: oh my god_ **

  
  
  


\---

  
  


“I didn’t know I could walk this fast.” Julia exclaimed as she and Shayne practically ran down the sidewalk to the smosh building, coffees in tow.

 

“Hey, you got some long legs on ya, you should use them more often.” Shayne said as they turned the corner up to the building.

 

“You checking out my legs, Mr. Topp?” Julia said sarcastically.

 

“Mayyybeee…?” Shayne confessed, his voice pitched higher than usual.

 

Julia didn’t even have a moment to open her mouth in shock, for she was being forced in the front doors and showing her brand new Smosh badge to the guard. They ran to the elevator, followed by some P.A’s who were super friendly and nice, and then bursted up the stairs to the recording studio the livestream was being held in.

 

“There you guys are, finally!” Courtney called, already decked out in one of her first costumes. “I’ve been needing my juiiiiice.” She said, mimicking Shayne.

 

“Hey! That’s my line!” Shayne exclaimed.

 

“Alright, let’s pass these out!” Sunny announced, spotting Julia and Shayne in the corner.

 

Courtney and Olivia helped pass them out, making small talk with Julia as they did so.

 

“I think before christmas break starts, we are going to have a girls sleepover with the Smosh girls!” Courtney said excitedly.

 

“And since you’ve been in some of the vlogs and on our instagrams, you are technically a Smosh girl!” Olivia announced.

 

“Dude that would be so fun! Lemme know on the details so I can the days off!” Julia said with a grin.

 

“Alright folks!” Matt announced. “We have ten minutes before the stream goes live. Let’s go over the plan of how things are going down.”

 

Julia listened in, taking her apron off and allowing one of the P.A’s to hang it up for her.

 

“...and then after the third performance by Keith and Noah, I will have our sponsor of the stream and donator, Julia Lewis from Brick Road Coffee come up and introduce her. It will be short, but I’ll be thanking her for the donations and coffees from them and giving them a special shoutout.” Sunny said, focusing the attention on her. 

 

She had gotten to a point where she was used to Shayne’s hands touching her and tethering her mental state down whenever she was in situations like these. He always seemed to know when Julia felt the most vulnerable, and instead of feeling weirded out by it she found such great comfort out if it. There was someone out there who truly knew her and understood her mental state and she was thankful for that.

 

“We will then have Julia be apart of the next challenge segment where she will be the guest in the Smosh Squad’s game of whatever the audience picks by then. Then we will move on to….”

 

“Hey,” Shayne whispered, tugging at her shoulder. “You’ll do great.”

 

“Thanks.” She whispered back, smiling fondly up at him.

 

She couldn’t help but take in the softness of his features right there and then. He had brilliantly blue eyes that sparked when he smiled. His smile had a life of its own sometimes, it would quirk up by one corner and animate his entire face. His hair looked soft to touch as it hung over his brow, accenting his entire face.

 

She was snapped out of her gaze as everyone around her cheered and started to split up, getting ready for the stream to begin. Shaye smiled softly at her again.

 

“I’ll see you up there.”

 

Julia got a special seat right up behind the camera where she could sip coffee and watch the stream go down. One of the producers, a kind lady who made small talk with her to ease her nerves, sat down on her right while Sunny was on her left.

 

Julia laughed and cried slightly at all the hilariousness and dedication that was put into the stream. Shayne was probably one of the funniest out there, and that wasn’t even judged by Julia’s obvious infatuation with him. He always seemed to be looking straight at her though whenever he would grin out past the stage. It definitely did help ease her nerves to have him smiling at her, but it also caused her head to spin and her heart to beat a little too fast which was a bit of a problem in her mind.

 

“Shayne likes you a lot.” Sunny said, quiet enough for just her to hear. “He doesn’t act that way for just anybody.”

 

Julia blushed even harder.

 

“I don’t even know how I feel, you know? I can’t understand how easy it must be to like someone that easily.” Julia admitted, feeling comfortable in Matt’s presence.

 

“Well he’s a special little cookie he is, he’s always been so sure about things. But don’t let that slip by you, if someone as that anal about his feelings expresses them to you, then he’s pretty damn genuine.” Sunny revealed.

 

Julia sat there for a second, taking in his words and their meaning.

 

“I don’t mean to pry or anything, but it seems to me like you were hurt before, correct?” Sunny asked as the next skit started.

 

Julia slowly nodded her head.

 

“Now it takes guts to even admit that, so there’s one thing straight: you’re a strong girl. Whoever did you wrong can go to hell, and they shouldn’t be the one who dictates your mind into who you let in or not. I can’t speak for your feelings, but it certainly looks to me like Shayne’s feelings are mutually returned, even if you need some time to figure it out for yourself.”

 

Julia turned, her chin shaking as the warmth and genuine compassion from Sunny’s words soaked her from head to toe in gratitude.

 

“Thank you, so much.” She tried to get out with the level of thankfulness she felt deep within her heart. 

 

It was like someone had taken a hit at the lock around her feelings and her heart. Maybe it wasn’t completely off, but she now knew that there were people out there who wanted to help her tear it off. Sunny smiled at her and squeezed her shoulder.

 

“You’re a nice gal, Julia, you both deserve the best.”

 

Julia smiled to herself and looked up, meeting her eyes with Shayne across the room. He happened to glance up and smiled at her as Keith read his lines.

 

“We should stand up and get ready,” Sunny said, getting up himself, “this skit is almost over.”

 

Julia stood, prepping herself mentally for what was to come. She watched as Shayne, Keith, and Noah bowed to the camera and Sunny was walking up, motioning for her to join him. She passed Shayne right before she got in frame of the camera, who squeezed her hand as he walked by, whispering an assurance in her ear.

 

“You’ve got this, Jules.”

 

People had called her Jules before, but this was the first time it had really mattered, based on the way her heart fluttered.

 

“Hello everybody in the chat and whoever is watching!” Sunny greeted. “I’m going to be a boring adult here and interrupt the stream with a quick and important announcement.”

 

Julia faced the camera and waved as a P.A pulled up the fold out table and the coffee drinks she had brought as advertisement. 

 

“This is Julia Lewis, some of you might have seen her in a couple of the squad vlogs recently.” Sunny introduced. “Basically long story short, Shayne met Julia in a coffee shop and invited her to dinner with his crazy youtube friends.”

 

“Hey! We’re not crazy!” Courtney screamed from off camera.

 

“And don’t make it sound like she’s my girlfriend, geez! I was being a nice and considerate person!” Shayne yelled.

 

Julia was just a blushing mess, giggling as the camera was facing her.

 

“Hey everyone, I haven’t had the opportunity to really connect with you guys ever before!” She got out shakily. “Basically I am the manager of a coffee shop called Brick Road Coffee.”

 

“And she is here to sponsor this livestream and has donated a thousand dollars already!” Sunny said enthusiastically. “We wanted to take advantage of her generous sponsorship and kindness in providing these goons with caffeine and advertise her business.”

 

“Why don’t we have the main contributing factor to Julia being here get on up here.” One of the producers offstage yelled.

 

“Yeah! Let’s get the one who started this all and wastes all his money so he can go on down and chat the day up with this poor girl.” Sunny said, beckoning Shayne onstage.

 

Shayne stumbled up as Julia tried to hide her face in her hands.

 

“Excuse you, it’s not a waste of money, it’s providing me with sanity to get through a work day!” Shayne defended himself.

 

“Yeah, and to go and see a pretty face.” Sunny said with a smirk.

 

Everyone laughed as Shayne’s face turned beet red and he laughed. Julia felt mortified, but Shayne wrapped an arm around her shoulder in a side hug and she felt herself calm down.

 

“Julia is very nice and she’s great to talk to when you’re in need of caffeine. So if you’re ever in town or around the block, hit her shop up! She makes pretty amazing coffee and has great suggestions!” Shayne said to the camera.

 

“Someone in the comments has started a ship war and now the hashtag #Shulia is overpowering the #Shaymien shippers.” One of the P.A’s said with an ipad in hand.

 

“Start the fanfiction writing!” Keith yelled from offstage.

 

“How can they overpower the Shaymien shippers?!” Courtney screamed.

 

“This was supposed to be a good advertising time where we didn’t have to see your ugly mugs.” Sunny said to Shayne.

 

“You love me Sunny!” Shayne yelled as he unwrapped his arm from around Julia’s neck.

 

Julia smiled and laughed as Sunny transitioned everything to the game she was participating in, which ended up being Trivia Jenga. She ended up being on Shayne and Olivia’s team going against Noah, Courtney, and Keith. Julia hadn’t laughed as much as she did that day. She actually forgot that the camera was capturing her every movement live for a bit and she was able to tease and bicker with Shayne like she normally could.

 

It was progress, even though something new was blooming in her chest as she thought of Shayne. She knew feelings were rooting in her chest so she tried to think of the positives and not that something was cutting into her chest messily and dangerously.

  
  
  


\---

  
  
  


**_Smol (coffee) Bean: Hey are you picking me up for Chick-Fil-A night tonight?_ **

 

_ Tol Blonde Son: I’m actually not going...I have last minute plans…. _

 

**_Smol (coffee) Bean: Oh?_ **

 

**_And what will that be? Plotting world domination?_ **

 

_ Tol Blonde Son: Ha, as fun and riveting as that sounds, I’m meeting someone for dinner _

 

**_Smol (coffee) Bean: Alriiiiight, I’ll ask Damien then_ **

  
  
  


**_Ju-Ju-Lia: Damien?_ **

 

_ Bearded Boi: Yeeeesss? _

 

**_Ju-Ju-Lia: Shayne has a date tonight, doesn’t he?_ **

 

_ Bearded Boi: yeah….he does _

 

_ Do you need kitty and ice cream therapy?  _

 

_ Cause I happen to have both _

 

**_Ju-Ju-Lia: yeah… maybe…_ **

 

_ Bearded Boi: don’t worry, Lia, he likes you. People just do stupid stuff before they realize what they really want in life. _

 

**_Ju-Ju-Lia: I sure hope so_ **

  
  


@JulesLews:  _ kitty therapy is the best therapy _

Tagged:  _ @damienhaas _

 

Comments:

@damienhaas:  _ yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyes _

@co_mill:  _ so ADORABLEEE _

@smoshfan5ever_:  _ I bet @Shaynetopp is jealous of this cat rn _

  
  
  


\---

  
  
  


Group Imessage:  GIRLS NIIIIIGHT❤️

 

_ Courtney FREAKIN’ Miller: Heyyyyyy let’s get this partay started! _

 

_ Smol Asian Child: YEET _

 

_ Grandma Mari: I am begging of you to never say that again Liv _

 

_ BIG BOSS: YES GIRLS LETS GET THIS SHOW ON THE ROAD _

 

_ DONT JUDGE MARI _

 

_ ITS GON BE LIT _

 

**_What night are we doing this???_ **

 

_ Courtney FREAKIN’ Miller: the 17th, because Mari leaves town on the 19th _

 

_ BIG BOSS: IM LEAVING ON THE 22ND! _

 

_ Smol Asian Child: Do we need any snacks? Anything to make a list of? _

 

_ Grandma Mari: WE NEED DORITOS _

 

_ Courtney FREAKIN’ Miller: alright…. _

 

_ BIG BOSS: LETS GET IN N OUT AND THEN EAT OUR MESSY BURGERS TOGETHER AND JUST GET A WHOLE LOTTA CHIPS AND DRINKS AND CANDY _

 

**_Jesus Boze, did Shayne let you have the rest of his frappe today?_ **

 

_ BIG BOSS: MAYBE _

 

_ Smol Asian Child: we can bake cookies too! Courtney found this recipe that is supposedly really good! _

 

_ Courtney Freakin’ Miller: Alright! We are all set then! _

  
  
  


_ Grandma Mari: Hey Jules, you doing okay about the whole Shayne thing? _

 

**_My Coffee Bean: ehhhh:/_ **

 

_ Grandma Mari: to make you feel better, there’s a bet going around the entire Smosh office on how long he and Kristie will stay together _

 

**_My Coffee Bean: oh yeah? What do you bet then?_ **

 

_ Grandma Mari: originally I said twenty seconds because he was standing across from me and I wanted to kick his ass _

 

_ But I said three months _

 

**_My Coffee Bean: why three months? That’s a long time!_ **

 

_ Grandma Mari: Shayne is a nice guy, really truly. He thinks long and hard about his feelings and who he allows the opportunity to get to know him. It’s a miracle he opened up to you like this, so that says something deep down about what he really feels.  _

 

_ I think that three months gives him enough time to see you, realize his feelings matter, and then do something about it. _

 

**_My Coffee Bean: what makes you say that he’s going to change his feelings all of a sudden?_ **

 

_ Grandma Mari: Because we are going to make him realize what he’s missing;) _

 

**_My Coffee Bean: ahhhhh;)_ **

 

**_I gotchu_ **

 

_ Grandma Mari: really though Jules, you deserve the best _

 

_ You’re such a smol cinnamon roll !!!! _

 

_ And Shayne is great and amazing and he needs to realize just how much he needs you in his life _

 

**_My Coffee Bean: thanks Mari:)_ **

 

_ Granda Mari: you’re welcome, my smol child _

  
  
  


\---

  
  


Julia had had friends before, like actual female friends, they just didn’t come often and stay long enough for her to get accustomed to their warmth and being in her life. Olivia was funny and sweet, but she gave spot on advice when Julia desperately needed it. She was down to earth and understood the hardest things to go through, that’s probably why she and Courtney fit so well together. Courtney was weird and cool, she could make the worst situation the best just by making a funny face and saying something stupid. But when the time called for it, she could be as grounded as a deeply rooted tree and give you genuine good advice.

 

Boze was loud and vibrant, always yelling and making the simplest of things amazing. She could make a high five seem as important as a heartfelt speech. She was like a hyperactive puppy all the time, always hugging and touching you when she could sense that you were just a teeny bit sad. Julia liked hugs, so she liked Boze a lot. But then Mari was awesome, she was just simply that because she could be funny and hilarious one moment and then be serious and headstrong the next. She was inspirational to Julia, Mari could do anything it seemed; she was just like a superhero. Mari knew exactly what to say in the right circumstances, even if it had to be the hard thing to say.

 

Julia had been looking forward to the party all week. She had gotten used to the idea of seeing Shayne come in everyday, sometimes two or three times a day. But now he came in once every couple of days, sporadically and random. But he would act like nothing was wrong, like Julia’s life had been flipped to a one-eighty and she was sinking under the waves of the storm he caused. He would smile so casually, not knowing that his casualness was slowly killing her. She was waiting for the shoe to fall, for him to just break her heart, confess his love for freakin’ Kristie, and then leave her life entirely. 

 

So yeah, Julia was paranoid everytime she heard the birds chirp as the doors opened and when the sun shone a little too bright through the windows.

 

Boze and Mari picked her up from her apartment after she had showered after getting off from work. She had been frazzled all day because Shayne came in, but this time he brought Kristie. She was gorgeous with bright blue eyes and dark curly hair that hung around her shoulders, the exact opposite of what Julia looked like. 

 

Kristie like the vanilla bean frappe and got one of the homemade scones. It made Julia more angry that she enjoyed it all, thanking Julia for how delicious the scone was. Julia was forced to be nice and smile, even though she wanted to jump the counter and throw the bitch out the window.

 

But the hardest part of all was seeing the glimmer in Shayne’s eyes hadn’t changed at all. He was still smiling and looking at her like nothing was vastly different. It was ruining her, and Julia couldn’t be ruined another time.

 

She watched as Shayne plopped himself down on one of their couches and tugged Kristie down with him, pulling out a book and wrapping his free arm around her thin shoulders. Julia tried not to watch as Kristie took a picture of the books in their laps and their coffees. She told herself to remember to find Kristie on instagram just so she could go and judge the post she was most definitely making.

 

@kristiemay:  _ coffee & book date<3 _

Tagged: @shaynetopp

Comments:

@daddy_needsjuice:  _ #shulia forever _

@cofreakinmiller: who is this irrelevant???

But Julia was determined to block out the horrible events of the day, she had an evening to spend with her gal pals and she was going to have fun.

“Hey giiiirrl!” Boze exclaimed as Julia opened the front door. “Did you see Kristie’s post?”

“Geez, we are already getting into that.” Mari muttered as Julia grabbed her bag and sughed loudly.

“Yes I did, but that’s not the main focus of tonight, is it?” Julia said as she brushed past Boze shoving her phone in her face with the post on the screen.

“Yeeeeah,” Boze admitted, her brightening again, “but did you see some of the comments on it? Our fans are brutal!”

Julia found herself laughing once again as they all got into the car and started sharing stories of their fan encounters, starting with Julia’s first ever experience with a Smosh fan.

“Yeah I’m not joking! She walked in and screamed, “DADDY NEEDS HIS JUIIIIICE” and then she just walked out.” Julia recapped through bursts of laughter.

“I’ve had so many fans come up to me and thunder me with questions on if I’m dating either Joven or Ian!” Mari said as she took the turn to Olivia’s apartment.

“I get that but with Damien and its so weird!  The guy is a sweetheart, but we are definitely just friends.” Boze said with a laugh.

“Ya know,” Mari said with a giggle, looking back into her rearview mirror at Julia, “if you weren’t so heart eyes towards Shayne, I would totally ship you with Damien.”

“What?!” Julia exclaimed, her cheeks flushing.

“Oh yeah!” Boze exclaimed. “I see it!”

“How?! How can you see something that hasn’t even started?!” Julia exclaimed.

“I don’t know!” Mari said with a laugh. “There’s always some sort of chemistry between two people that you can take note of.”

“Yeah, sometimes it’s in the way they look at each other and how they act around one another.” Boze added in.

Julia stayed quiet as Mari pulled into the designated visiting parking lot across from the building Olivia lived in. Olivia and Courtney were in the process of saving up for their own condo to live in together, but in the meantime Olivia was staying in an apartment with on of her dance friends. Her roommate was out for the evening, leaving the five of them to have a girls night undisturbed.

“I’m glad that Courtney decided to include our present giving to one another tonight, that way it’s a little more special and fun.” Mari said as she stopped the engine and pushed open her car door.

“I know! But I was so panicked trying to get presents in time cause I usually wait until a couple days before Christmas to get presents!” Boze said.

“That just gives me anxiety, geez!” Julia said with a laugh as she got out of the car.

Boze laughed, wrapping an arm around her shoulder as they ascended the stairs up to Olivia’s apartment. Olivia answered the door with a big smile, her hair was pulled back in a messy ponytail and she wore baggy pajama pants.

“Did you guys bring your pjs?!” Olivia said in greeting, helping Mari with a box of their presents.

“Yuuuup!” Boze answered for the three of them.

“We also brought snacks.” Julia said, holding up a plastic bag full of chips and candy that Boze had purchased.

“Alright, well go and get dressed! Courtney should be here soon with the burgers!” Olivia instructed.

“Duuuude, we should take cute pictures of ourselves in pajamas!” Boze brought up.

“YES!” Mari exclaimed. “I love lazy day wear photos!” 

The girls got dressed and snapped a few shots with Olivia’s camera. Julia had been shy at first, because Boze had posed in her short booty shorts and a tank top, but then she saw how cute the pictures turned out and a part of her wanted to step out of her comfort zone. She had always stayed within the parameters of her safe zone, never actually knowing how to step out and do something different. But this, posing for a picture with her friends and feeling good about one’s body, seemed like the perfect opportunity. 

Mari directed her onto Olivia’s bed and told her to pose. But as she suspected, Julia couldn’t pose when she was feeling extremely awkward, so Boze told her a very stupid joke.

“Hey Jules, knock knock.”

“Who’s there?”

“Europe.”

  
Europe who?”

“No, you’re a poo!” 

And just like that, Julia bursted into laughter at the ridiculousness of the joke and the dorky expression on Boze’s face. Mari snapped several pictures at once, grinning the whole time.

“That’s perfect! What a horrible joke!” Mari exclaimed, making Julia laugh more.

“What?! Poop jokes are the shit!” Boze said, laughing even harder at her second joke.

Courtney finally arrived with two bags full of good smelling food that filled the entire apartment with it’s glorious aroma. As Courtney pulled a box with some of the burgers out onto her lap to make room, Julia snuck around her and snapped a picture over her shoulder.

“Are you using my lap full of glorious burgers for a snapchat story?!” She exclaimed.

“Mayyybeeee.” Julia said with a giggle, giving Courtney a hug from behind.

Everyone dug in, chatting and laughing amongst themselves, creating a perfect canopy of peace around themselves. Julia snuggled into the couch with her warm burger and fries, smiling contently as Boze laughed at something Olivia said. 

“Okay girlies, I have these pictures already edited!” Mari said, turning away from her laptop in hand.

“Ooooh send one to me!” Julia exclaimed as Olivia and Boze did the same.

“Alright alright children.” Mari said in a fake grumpy tone.

Julia grinned as her phone vibrated after a second and she got a text from Mari with a couple of pictures. She scrolled through a couple of them but landed on one that she actually liked. She couldn’t stop staring at her bare legs and the fact that she was posing in her underwear, but a part of her pushed her will forward to open up Instagram and post it.

“Are you posting yours, Jules?!” Boze asked. 

“Yeah it’s super cute!” Olivia exclaimed.

“Yeeeeah, as long as you guys post yours!” Julia agreed.

“You don’t have to tell me twice!” Mari said, opening up her phone as the other girls did.

“You guys are lucky that Olivia snapped a picture of me a couple mornings ago in a similar aesthetic!” Courtney exclaimed with a pout.

“Feeling left out, Court-Court?” Olivia teased.

Finally, Julia pressed the post button as they all together counted down and posted together at the same time. Julia felt a wave of relief spread through her body as her post showed up on her profile and it instantly started getting likes and a couple of comments from fans.

“Alright, let’s set our phones and electronics aside and have a girl talk.” Mari interrupted.

Everyone’s attention was suddenly turned to her.

“We never really get to do this with each other and probably sometimes ever.” Mari said, “so I just wanted to be able to create an environment between us girls where we can talk about the shit in our lives and just talk and feel safe with each other.”

“I really like that,” Courtney piped up, “I honestly feel like sometimes my mind gets all bottled up and I get more stressed that way.”

“Yeah I agree,” Olivia said, “I love sharing my feelings about things with people and especially you guys.”

“So, who would like to start? You can just open up and start talking about something your struggling with, something that makes you upset and wanna cry, or maybe something happy that you are proud of. Anything! Just start talking!” Mari suggested.

“I’ll start then,” Boze said after a few seconds, “I don’t have much honestly.”

“That’s totally fine, just share whatever’s there.” Mari coaxed.

“Well, I have been trying to get back out into the dating field recently.” Boze admitted as everyone ‘oooohed’. “And honestly it kind of sucks. I feel like at this point I’ve gotten my heart trampled on when I’ve started the relationship out on a booty call or having casual sex, so I just want something that will last. And that’s really fucking hard with dudes around here who only want the booty calls and the casual sex.”

She sighed for a second.

“I know there’s someone out there for me, but I just can’t help but wonder how close he is and when I’ll meet him. Like what if I’ve already met him and I am just too lost in myself to realize that?!” Boze exclaimed.

“I know it honestly sucks to hear it,” Mari spoke up, “But I can’t stress enough how important it is to just keep pushing forward through all the shitty guys. Cause that’s how I met Peter, I just kept pushing forward and looking. I totally wanted to give up several times, but I tried to push myself to keep my head on straight and not allow myself to fall for anything or anybody less than what I deserve.”

Boze clapped a hand over her mouth and bolted forward into Mari’s arms.

“That was so amazing.” She whispered, hugging Mari tightly as Mari rubbed her back. “I totally needed that, thanks!”

“You are totally welcome!” Mari said with a chuckle. “And that goes for all of you, even you two in relations with each other, just keep that in mind. Keep yourself intact enough to know yourself and what you need.” She pointed at Julia, Olivia, and Courtney.

“Alright,” Boze sat up from Mari’s arms, wiping the stray tears away from under her eyes, “who’s next?”

“I’ll go,” Courtney volunteered. “I don’t have much to share, my love life is pretty spectacular at the moment.” She grinned dorkily at Olivia, making the small asian girl blush and hug her side tighter.

“But in reality, I am just finding out a lot about myself within this year. I didn’t realize that I was bi until I moved out to California, and even then before Olivia had the nerve to kiss me for the first time I didn’t really have a full grasp on it. 

“But I feel like the past year was a bit of a struggle. I started it off with a guy who treated me like shit towards the end of our relationship, but then towards the end I got to kiss my first ever girlfriend at the ball drop when we had been officially dating for two months. But within this year, it’s been honestly amazing. I love working with you guys and at Smosh. There are so many opportunities there that are helping me towards my own dream of singing and acting and also with making such amazing lifelong friends.

“I got to meet Julia, who’s been a phenomenal person in our lives and providing us all with amazing coffee and treats. I’m so glad you’re in our lives.” Courtney leaned over and squeezed Julia’s knee, making her blush and smile. 

“But then this year has been amazing with you, Olivia, by my side. I always knew since the day I met you that there was something special about our friendship, but it wasn’t until recently that I realized how amazing we work together. I’ve found so much more passion in life now that I get to be with you and live with you. It’s cheesy as hell, but I really am in love with you Liv.” Courtney finished, snuggling against her girlfriend.

“I honestly have to say the same thing, as cheesy as it is, I feel exactly the same way.” Olivia said, running her hands softly through Courtney’s hair. “I have found such purpose in my life now that I have you in it personally. I totally had the biggest crush on you the moment we met, and it took me a year to really figure it out, but Shayne really helped me. 

“I love you so much Court, and I am very happy to have you with me too.” Olivia said with a grin.

“Oh my gosh I honestly can’t handle how cute you guys are.” Julia muttered, snapping a picture of the scene of the two staring into each other’s eyes and grinning like lovesick fools to each other.

“Julia? Do you want to spill?” Mari asked tentatively, already knowing a bit of what was going on in the blonde’s mind.

Julia sat there for a second, playing with the hem of her shirt for a second, trying to find the words in her mind. She was scared, but seeing the open honesty between everyone made her want to tell everything that she had kept hidden away for years.

“The last relationship I was in was about three years ago. It was that long ago for a reason, I don’t think I’ll ever really get over it.” She found herself getting nervous, her body was shaking as Mari hopped up and wrapped an arm around her shaking shoulders.

“I dated this guy named Brayden during my second semester of freshman year. He was one of my friends, super sweet and attractive, I had known him for a couple of months and he asked me out one day and of course I said yes. We went out on a couple dates, got to know each other better.

“I’ve always been a shy person by nature, but I was always able to get past it. It was about six months of dating when Brayden asked if we were ever going to have sex. I honestly had no ill intention towards the idea of sex, I wasn’t a blushing virgin, but something in me wanted to wait a little longer. I think it was my self conscious picking up on what was about to happen.”

Julia stopped as Courtney wrapped a blanket around her shoulders, realizing she was crying.

“You don’t have to continue if you don’t want to.” She whispered.

“I-I need to,” Julia said through the tears now dripping down her cheeks and clogging up her throat. “I’ve held it down for far too long.”

She took a deep breath and let go.

“He got so fed up one day while we were at a party. He was going to plan this whole thing out, to get his friends in on it and surprise me. They had set up a room upstairs above the party where we would have romantic sex and do it for the first time together. They had the brilliant idea though to give me something in my drink, claiming it was something to ease my nerves a bit. They gave me too much and I practically blacked out. I came to as Brayden was tying me to the bed in a supposedly sexy manner and started r-r-r-r—” Julia stopped, her voice shaking uncontrollably.

Mari hugged Julia tightly against her, whispering calming things in her ear.

“He raped me and then the next day he claimed that I liked it! I didn’t know what to do so I broke up with him. And then after that he would follow me around, trying to get back together with me. I finally let him at one point, but then I was let down after a month or so when he cheated on me.” Julia finished.

They all sat there in silence, the words and horrible realizations drifting in the wind so to speak. Olivia had gotten some chocolate at one point and Boze had grabbed another blanket. Julia was surrounded in warmth and comfort from all sides and that made her wanna cry more.

“And then Shayne, stupidly attractive and amazing Shayne, showed up in my coffee shop one day and asked me for suggestions on the best coffee.” She laughed through the tears as she remembered that fateful day. “I didn’t know what to do! He was openly flirting with me, but he was being so nice, especially when I gave him my lame excuse to hide the fact that I’m all torn up inside. He got to know me and understood my weird sense of humor. He introduced me to you guys and I am so grateful of that! I love you guys so much!” Julia was crying and laughing and smiling, but she was in pain and her heart was hurting and everything was just pouring out like a river.

“But then once I realized that I really felt something innocent and amazing for the guy, he just jumped up to some random girl and broke my heart all over again.” And that was the final blow to the the mental breakdown looming on the inside of Julia’s mind.

She probably cried like a baby for hours, just sitting there with her head in Mari’s chest, Courtney’s arms wrapped around her right side, Boze holding her left hand and rubbing her side, and Olivia feeding her chocolate and rubbing her head. Julia had never felt so much love from other girls in her life and she was so glad to be receiving it from these amazing women.

“Th-Thank you,” she croaked out after her sobs had quieted down a bit. “I’m sorry for sobbing on you guys.”

“Don’t apologize!” Mari exclaimed. “You have nothing to be sorry for. You needed to pour your heart out and we were so willing to sit and listen and allow your tears and snot to mix with our clothes. Dude I fuckin’ adore you, Julia Lewis. You are such a sweetheart and such a precious human being. I will listen to you rant about anything for hours on end, just ring me up baby!”

“And the same goes for all three of us.” Olivia said, smiling genuinely at the sobbing blonde girl.

“Th-Thank you so so so much you guys.” Julia muttered, hugging whoever was closest to her.

The night was filled with warm cuddles, a lot of laughter, ice cream and chocolates, and watching Parks and Rec through the night until their sides hurt from laughter.

  
  
  


\---

@JulesLews:  _ girls niiiight _

Tagged: @atomicmari @co_mill @oliviasui & @bigbossboze

Comments:

@atomicmari:  _ my little coffee beeeeaaan <3 _

@co_mill:  _ awe i love you so much _

@bigbossboze:  _ YOU’RE SO FREAKIN CUTE _

@sammietheman:  _ inapropro _

@daddy_needsjuice:  _ SHAYNE LIKED THIS POST #SHULIA IS CONFIRMED _

@shulianeedstohappen:  _ Shayne where you at?! _

 

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Snapchat

@JuliaLewis:  _ burgers with the baes<3 _

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_

Two days later it snowed in Los Angeles. It was a very minimal snow that didn’t really stick to the ground, but it was a miracle nonetheless; and that was a day for miracles and weird occurances.

Julia perked up and turned as she heard Shayne walk through the doors, internally cringing as she could hear the birds chirping, even through the snow and cold weather. Shayne just had an impact on the cold and dreary weather, and that spoke levels to Julia, even though she really just didn’t want to see his gorgeous face and be reminded of the fact that she couldn’t have him.

He smiled at her, a quirk of the lips really, as he walked up and leaned against the counter.

“Okay, so I could go for a basic hot chocolate right now, but do you have any better suggestions to spice it up?” He asked.

Julia was almost unresponsive for a moment as she was hit with the nostalgia of when he had come in for the first time and asked her for suggestions. She jolted back into reality as his eyes seemed to pierce her for a moment.

“Um, most people like adding different spices and stuff into their coca. My personal favorite is Martha Stewarts recipe for Cinnamon and Spice Cocoa.”

“Sounds delicious, lemme do that one please.” Shayne said, plopping himself on his regular stool and leaning back to watch her work.

Julia’s fingers twitched at the tension that hung in the air over their heads, unknowingly but at the same time altogether knowingly by both parties involved. It was the unknown part that terrified Julia, whether or not she should make it known and say something to him about his girlfriend and just ask  _ why _ ?! Why did he have to chose Kristie over her? Was it because she jumped to the opportunity and slept with him on the first night? Or was it because of something Julia feared more than the first option; was it that he genuinely liked Kristie more than he had ever thought of Julia. It was terrifying and crippling to Julia’s mental state and she didn’t know if she wanted to truth or not.

“How’s work been recently? I haven’t been in much to ask you or see for myself.” Shayne asked, dancing around the subject of him hanging out with his girlfriend more than he had at her coffee shop like he used to.

“It’s been more busy, especially with the new drinks we have going and this random weather blip we have going on.” Julia replied with a laugh about the weather.

“Yeah, this random snowfall is quite strange,” Shayne laughed along with her, “but it put me in the mood for hot chocolate, so there’s that.”

“Yeah, I purely believe that cocoa is the best drink out there.” Julia spoke up after a couple seconds of awkward silence, determined to not make this any more awkward than it had to be.

“Oh yeah? And what makes you say that?” Shayne asked, leaning forward with a wide grin on his face.

“There’s nothing too strong or weak about it. It’s just milk and chocolate. And if you add in water instead of milk, than you are a gross human being and deserve to die.” Julia said, adding in humor.

Shayne laughed, rubbing a hand down his face.

“God I missed you and your sense of humor.” He muttered fondly.

Julia almost froze from what she was doing, but she pushed herself to keep up what she was doing and pour in the ancho chile powder. 

“Hey, I know that you know about the company christmas party tomorrow night, but do you know if you’ll have to be working the whole time?” Shayne asked.

“I will for a bit, but I’m keeping Sammie and Caleb on it so they get the experience. I talked with Sunny and Joe this past week about future plans having to do with me and the shop with them and they have some ideas up their sleeves that sound amazing. So in the future, I think I’m going to be stepping away more and allowing Sammie to take over while I hire more people to fill in the empty slots.” Julia explained as she opened a new whip can bottle and sprayed a heap on top of the drink.

“Ooooh, is this top secret stuff that I can’t know about?” Shayne asked, leaning more over the counter as Julia walked closer to him to grab a lid for his drink.

“Why yes, yes it is. Good observational skills.” Julia replied sarcastically.

“But why can’t you tell me?” Shayne asked as Julia straightened up and turned to him, freezing at how close he was leaning over the counter. “I’m a trustworthy person.”

Julia scolded herself to not allow her eyes to drift any lower than his nose but not any higher. She knew that the moment she looked at either his mouth or his eyes she would be trapped and wouldn’t  able to look away. But the shocking part was, he was staring directly at her mouth—and smirking too! Julia would have dropped the hot chocolate if she hadn’t of set it down on the counter between them.

“It would be lovely if at least once as of recently I got to see you outside of the bar instead of behind it.” Shayne said in a low voice. “I have missed being able to see your whole frame that isn’t hidden behind your apron.”

Julia didn’t know what to say as Shayne tossed a twenty dollar bill on the counter, grabbed his cocoa as his fingers brushed against hers, and stood up from his stool.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” he said as he walked to the door. “And keep the change.”

 

@JulesLews:  _ this snowfall lasted legitimately thirty minutes #laproblems _

Tagged: @noahgrossman214

Comments:

@shaynesjuice:  _ oh my gossssh you’re so pretty _

@noahgrossman214:  _ you forgot to mention our bitter disappointment _

@sammietheman:  _ hey boss, aren’t you supposed to be at work? _

@atomicmari:  _ GOD DAMMIT I ALREADY MISS YOU _

@co_mill:  _ yessss <3 _

@smosh_fan_for_ever:  _ now it’s #joah? What happened to #shulia??? _

  
  
  


\---

  
  
  


“Yeah, and then he said  _ keep the change _ !” Julia ranted, her lungs sore from breathing so heavily as she tried to keep up with Damien’s long strides.

Damien had been the one selected to come down for the Smosh Games coffee run. It was their lunch break right before they had to film more videos for the week, specifically his and Shayne’s show. 

Damien had been quiet throughout Julia’s rant, his face set in a neutral stare. Julia sighed as she finished her drawn out run through of yesterday’s events. Today was the day of the Smosh Christmas party and she was going to be there with an espresso bar. She was nervous now, she had been looking forward to it since Boze was leaving the next day to fly home and Courtney and Olivia were going to Olivia’s home so that Courtney could meet the family. 

“I’ve known Shayne for a while now,” Damien began, “I’ve known that he is quite anal about his feelings and who he allows into his life. It wasn’t until quite recently being hired here that we really got to go deeper in our friendship and I was granted the almighty access into his deep and personal life.

“I’ve seen him go through relationships and how he views them; he’s not a bad guy, trust me! I just think he’s so caught up in this mission to meet someone and have a connection. He wants it to be genuine and passionate, but he doesn’t know how to get it. And I think he’s realized that there’s something there with you that he’s feeling. I don’t know what he’s thinking, but maybe he’s just now waking up and realizing he’s in a relationship that has no passion compared to you two.”

Julia kept silent as they continued to walk up to the building and through security.

“Listen, Julia,” Damien finally spoke up as they entered his office space. “I’ll try and talk to him, see what’s going on and if there’s anything that can be done. Just don’t worry alright? You get crazy when you’re worried.” He chuckled.

“Alright,” Julia agreed after a couple of seconds pondering, “I just really like him Damien. I don’t want to be that girl in this situation, cause I know what it feels like to be in the opposite position.”

Damien rested a hand on her shoulder, squeezing it tenderly.

“It’s going to be alright. I’ll make sure of it.”

Suddenly the door opened and Shayne walked in. He scrunched his brow at the two, eyeing Damien’s hand on Julia’s shoulder.

“What’s up? I thought I was gonna go and get the coffees?”

“Oh it’s fine, Matt told me to since you hadn’t gotten back from lunch yet with Kristie.” Damien said, lifting his hand from Julia’s shoulder.

Julia thought she imagined Shayne flinch at the mention of his girlfriend.

“Oh, alright then.” Shayne said, smiling at Julia. “You excited for the party tonight?”

“Yuuup,” Julia said, allowing herself to smile back. “I’m getting ready with Courtney and Olivia when I get off of work.”

“Well I’m sure you will look amazing, I can’t wait to see.” Shayne’s grin grew a little wider.

Julia blushed and looked up at Damien.

“I’m gonna get back to work. I trust Sammie and Caleb enough to run the store while I’m gone but they still make me nervous from time to time.”

“Alright, I’ll see ya tonight!” Damien said, giving her a high five and a sweet smile.

Shayne smiled and nodded his head at her, squeezing her arm as she walked by. Julia’s arm felt like it was on fire from where he touched it, even as she walked through the cool December air.

  
  


\---

  
  
  


Julia swayed her hips to the beat of the song playing over the loudspeakers as she poured an espresso shot for for one of the P.A’s sitting at her barstand.

“Alright, now here’s the Naughty List, it’s got a handful of flavorful spices in it and cream. Enjoy!” She said, watching as the P.As sitting there got up and waved at her goodbye, moving into the crowd on the dance floor.

Suddenly Courtney, Keith, Olivia, Noah, and Shayne appeared, all sweating and laughing together.

“Hey do you have any water, Jules?” Keith asked, throwing himself onto a stool and onto the bar. “I’m so THIRSTY.”

“And sweaty.” Julia finished for him, earning laughter from the rest of the group. “Yeah I sure do, if you ask nicely.”

“Pleeeeease.” They all chorused, joining Keith onto the barstools.

Julia grinned and grabbed five water bottles from underneath the counter in the cooler. She plopped one down in front of each person, Shayne being the last one. He grinned at her and grabbed his bottle, his fingers sliding against her own and making her heart beat erratically.

“Have you stepped out on the dance floor at all?” Keith asked, after he had slurped down probably half of his bottle in one big, messy gulp.

“Not yet, I’ve been having fun just talking to everyone as they come by.” Julia said as she leaned against the counter.

“Can’t you get Sammie to fill in for you?” Courtney asked.

“Yeah, pour yourself your own damn espresso and have a seat!” Shayne exclaimed, pulling out the stool besides him.

Julia grinned as Sammie perked at his name.

“You’re in charge now, buddy.” She said, handing him her towel as she poured herself her own espresso shot of a rich mocha coffee.

“Yayyyy!” Courtney and Olivia cheered as she plopped down in between Shayne and Courtney.

“So, any of you have big christmas plans?” Noah asked.

“Other than sneaking around in my uncle’s santa suit to creep out my nieces and nephews, no not really.” Shayne said in a casual tone, making everyone laugh.

“Yeah no, I don’t really have a lot planned, other than spending time with my momma.” Keith said as he sipped the last of his water.

“I’m excited to meet Olivia’s mom!” Courtney exclaimed.

Julia put all of her attention on listening to Courtney and Olivia talk about their plans, she almost jumped when Shayne’s hand landed casually on her knee as he was leaning in more to listen to the conversation. Julia felt her lungs burn from her desperate attempts at not gasping in shock. She tried to close her eyes and ignore it, but she could feel Shayne’s breath on the side of her neck, the warmth radiating from his chest, and the steady beat of his heart through the veins in his hand.

“I’m gonna use the bathroom real quick.” She found herself saying, excusing herself from the bar and jumping up towards the bathroom around the corner. 

She didn’t make eye contact with anyone until she got into the bathroom and locked herself in a stall. Luckily no one was there to witness her weak attempts at fighting off the anxiety and panic in her chest. She was sobbing but no tears were pouring down her cheeks as she sat there shaking on the toilet seat. She pulled out her phone and went to Mari’s contact, quickly pressing the call button.

_ “Hello? Julia?” _

Julia couldn’t speak over the lump in her throat fpr a second, but she fought her way through it and stuttered.

“Sh-Sh-Shayne t-t-touched my knee, and I-I-I really like it and Ididn’twanttolikeitbutIcouldn’thelpit—”

“ _ Julia, slow down. I can’t understand you” _ Mari commanded, “ _ Now you said Shayne touched you? Did he do it inappropriately?!” _

“N-No, he touched my knee and I liked it but I shouldn’t because of Kristie.” Julia explained again through her panicked breaths. 

“ _ Look, Jules, there’s nothing wrong about your feelings. You didn’t act upon it, right?” _ Julia muttered a ‘no’. “ _ Then that’s good! You can feel what you feel, but you are correct in not acting on them because of Kristie. Don’t work yourself up over your feelings. You are allowed to feel, Jules!” _

Julia made a noise of agreement, taking deeper breaths and finding it easier to breathe again.

“Th-Thanks Mari. Sorry for bothering you.”

“ _ Don’t apologize either! I want you to call me whenever you are having a panic attack or feel anxious. Don’t hesitate, okay?” _

“A-Alright.” Julia mumbled.

“ _ Now, get back to the party. I’m sure that Courtney and Olivia are worried sick about you now.” _

“O-Okay, I’ll talk to you later.”

“ _ Bye! Have fun okay!” _

“Alright, buh-bye.” Julia said as she hung up the phone.

She took another deep, rattling breath before she unlocked her stall and walked over to the mirror. She wiped away the stray makeup under her eyes and played with her hair until it looked alright. She smiled shakily and washed her hands. She grabbed a towel and dried them, opening the door with her other hand.

But she was stopped in her path as she bumped straight into Shayne’s chest. She looked up, panicked as he hands came up and grabbed at his shirt in reflex. Her eyes were trapped in his clear blue ones, both of their lips parted in shock. Subconsciously, her eyes followed his as they landed square on her mouth, hers on his in return. Time seemed to slow down as she stood frozen in his grasp as he stared at her open mouth.

But everything came crashing back into sharp clarity as he started to lean forward…

“Wh-What are you doing?” Julia exclaimed, shoving at his chest, her eyes wide.

He gaped at her, his hands still open from holding her against him. Her eyes started to fill up with tears as his lips opened and closed like a gaping fish.

“You shouldn’t do that…” she muttered. “What are you thinking?!”

“What am  _ I _ thinking? What are  _ you _ thinking?!” Shayne exclaimed finally. “Are you okay—”

“No! No I am not okay!” She yelled, finding the rage and the fire blossoming in her chest.

“Then what’s wrong?!” Shayne demanded.

“What’s wrong with you?! That’s what I want to know! What. Is. Wrong. With. You?!” With every word she shoved him in the chest.

He stared at her in horror and confusion, which made her more mad. He was playing the stupid game they had been playing for weeks now. Well Julia was done playing and she needed to stop it altogether.

“You have a girlfriend! Why are you brushing up against me, touching me, and asking if I’m alright? And were you going to kiss me?! What is wrong with you?!” She exploded.

Shayne just gaped at her in shock.

“Do you know what it feels like? T-To have your heart just ripped out of your chest when you find out thehorrible truth?! Do you?!” She bellowed.

Shayne didn’t say anything.

“I do! I know it up close and fucking personal. It hurts, Shayne, it really fucking hurts when you find out that your love for someone has been ripped apart and set aside like a ragdoll. Do you have any decency for her feelings? And what about mine?! Huh?! What about me? Why am I given the short end of the stick and lead along and then just shoved aside for her?! I don’t like her, but I know when it’s common decency to not flirt with someone else while I’m fucking dating someone!” 

Julia was in full blown tears at this point, her throat was raw and her heart hurt.

“Jul—” Shayne tried to speak.

“No! I don’t want to hear your pathetic excuses!” Julia screamed.

“Jules?!” Damien’s voice called from the entrance of the hallway.

Julia looked up and almost cried in relief as Damien ran up to her.

“C’mon, let’s get you out of here.” Damien muttered, wrapping an arm around her shoulders as she sagged against him.

“What the fuck?! No! I need to finish this—” Shayne shouted at Damien.

“Dude, I love you bro, but you’re just going to have to step back for right now. You two will work this out later.” Damien said calmly, leading Julia away.

Julia couldn’t stop sobbing the whole ride to her apartment. Damien was nice and held her hand the whole ride, massaging it soothingly as the music played softly in the background. Damien helped her out of the car and up into her apartment, grabbing her keys and unlocking the door. He sat her down in her chair and handed her some of her favorite soft pajamas, telling her to go and change.

She slowly changed, sniffing the entire time. She walked out finally and allowed Damien to tuck her into her bed.

“I’ll be out on the couch, alright? I’m not gonna leave you.”

“Th-Thank you, Damien.” Julia mumbled through fresh tears of gratitude.

She fell asleep that night crying over how much she loved her caring friends and over the loss of another.

  
  
  


\---

  
  


December 22nd:

_ Shayne: hey I want to apologize do you work today? _

_ I stopped by the shop and Sammie said you were sick, are you feeling okay? _

_ Please, Julia, just answer me _

_ Look, I’m really sorry. Can I speak to you? _

_ Julia please _

  
  
  


_ Juse: dude I need to talk with Julia _

**_Damien Haamburger: I know, and usually I would be all for you doing that_ **

**_But there’s a lot that you don’t understand about her and what she’s feeling_ **

**_She needs time man, give her the break to figure herself out_ **

**_And also, you too. Figure yourself out and what your priorities are_ **

_ Juse: I don’t know what to do _

_ I feel like I’ve lost her _

**_Damien Haamburger: Don’t worry man, you haven’t lost her just yet_ **

**_Figure yourself out and what you feel before you come in like a bull in a china shop into her life_ **

_ Juse: did I mess up that bad? _

**_Damien Haamburger: you didn’t mess up all the way, yeah you probably shouldn’t have almost cheated on Kristie, but like I said there’s a lot that you don’t understand and she needs time to sort through it all in order to approach you again_ **

**_Because unconsciously she’s blaming you for the past mistakes of someone else and she needs to wake up and realize that_ **

**_So don’t come in and make her feel any worse_ **

_ Juse: just please tell her I’m sorry _

_ And also, who’s ass do I have to kick? _

  
  
  
  


_ Mari(pink heart emojis): how are you feeling today? Damien texted and said you had a rough night after I called you _

**_My Coffee Bean: im dealing with it_ **

**_Shayne tried to kiss me_ **

_ Mari(pink emojis): im sorry, knowing him I know that he didn’t mean to hurt you. He just doesn’t know your side of the story _

**_My Coffee Bean: it just sucks Mari. The whole time I wanted him to kiss me, I had a grip on his shirt and I could have pulled him forward and just done it. But I hate Kristie, I really don’t like her, but I couldn’t help but think of her sitting at home and wondering when he was going to get home and see her, maybe kiss her goodnight with the same lips he used to kiss me on the mouth. I kept seeing her horrified face at catching us and I could feel her pain just the same that I had felt. Logically, deep down, I know that he’s a nice guy but I just got so angry_ **

**_I’m still so angry with him and I don’t want to see his pretty face, but I really do and I’m angry at myself_ **

_ Mari(pink emojis): you’re going to be okay, Jules. You know why I know that? Because you are beautiful and strong. You are a warrior that can push through the pain and all of it. You don’t need to shove it deep down inside of yourself. Let yourself scream and cry and deal with it, but keep pushing yourself to move and walk forward _

**_My Coffee Bean: I love you so much Mari, thank you_ **

_ Mari(pink emojis): you’re welcome, my coffee bean <3 _

  
  
  
  


_ Court(heart emoji): So Shayne is moping at the office and Damien never showed up…. _

_ Are you okay? _

**_Julieeee: ehhhh, I’m dealing_ **

**_Did he tell you anything?_ **

_ Court(heart emoji): no…. He hasn’t said a word to anyone _

**_Julieeee: well… last night he tried to kiss me…._ **

**_YOU CAN ONLY TELL OLIVIA AND MAKE SURE NO ONE ELSE KNOWS GOT IT_ **

_ Court(heart emoji): WHAT _

_ THAT LITTLE BITCH _

**_Julieeee: YOU CAN’T SAY ANYTHING TO HIM_ **

_ Court(heart emoji): SHIT I REALLY WANT TO THOUGH _

_ PLEASE LET ME _

_ I FELT BAD FOR HIM AND NOW I FEEL GUILTY AND I’M MAD _

**_Julieeee: seriously, don’t say anything, that will just fuel the fire in him and then he’ll start pestering me with texts again_ **

_ Court(heart emoji): ughhhhhh fine _

_ Wanna come on over to Olivia’s after you’re done packing? We’d love to see you before we all leave _

**_Julieeee: fiiiiine, five work?_ **

_ Court(heart emoji): yessss, see you then! _

  
  
  
  


December 23rd:

_ Lil Bo Keith: Heyyyy have fun during your christmas break! Olivia told me you left early this morning. _

**_The Coffee Homie: Heyyyy thanks! You’re leaving today right? Have a good drive!_ **

_ Lil Bo Keith: yeah I am and thanks girl! _

_ I know it’s kind of intrusive, but I sensed something is a bit whack with you and Shayne… I just wanted to say that I hope things get better and we all want to dogpile you into a ginormous hug:) _

**_The Coffee Homie: awww thanks Keith <3_ **

_ Lil Bo Keith: yeah no prob, just tell me if I have to beat Shayne’s white ass into submission _

**_The Coffee Homie: hahaha, alright then_ **

  
  
  
  


_ Dat boiiii !!!!: SEND ME PICS OF YOUR DOGS PLS _

_ YOU PROMISED _

**_tHE mEMe QuEeN: FIIIIINE_ **

**_I’M NOT HOME JUST YET SO BE PATIENT SON_ **

_ Dat boiiii !!!!: YES _

_ THANKS _

_ I NEED ME SOME WHOLESOME DOG PICS _

  
  
  
  


_ Bean Juice: hey that sad blonde man came in again asking about you _

**_boss lady: ugh_ **

**_Just tell him again that I won’t be there until after new years_ **

_ Bean Juice: did you kill his cat or something _

_ He’s like mega depressed _

_ I don’t even see that one bitch that he always has around with him anymore _

**_boss lady: it’s more like did he kill my cat if anything_ **

**_And we aren’t actually killing cats you moron_ **

_ Bean Juice: well duhhhh _

_ I know heartbreak when I see it man _

_ And just so that you aren’t upset or anything I didn’t give him the discount _

**_boss lady: oh goodness_ **

**_Thanks sammie_ **

_ Bean Juice: anytime boss _

 

__

_ Liv-Liv(heart emojis): merry chrimbus from your favs _

**_My (other) blonde babe: liiiiiv it’s not even christmas yet_ **

**_You have two days_ **

_ Liv-Liv(heart emojis): way to ruin chrimmis, you grinch !!! _

**_My (other) blonde babe: love you too liv liv_ **

_ Liv-Liv(heart emojis): <3<3<3 _

_  
  
  
  
_

_ big boi: hey did you arrive all safe and sound? _

__

_ Freyja says hello!!!! _

**_Ju-Ju-Lia: awwww yesssss_ **

**_Give freyja a big ol kiss for me and pet her head !!!!_ **

**_And yessss i have arrived at my parents home in Colorado unharmed_ **

_ big boi: Freyja meowed hello! _

_ That was adorable, I wish I caught that on camera! _

_ But that is good and swell. Tell your parents I say hello! _

**_Ju-Ju-Lia: GOSH DANGIT DAMIEN_ **

**_But alriiight I shall inform them of your presence_ **

_ big boi: I’m sorry! Fate just didn’t want me to capture that sweet moment:( _

_ How are you feeling? Any better? Or do you need to facetime me and I just show my cats for hours? _

**_Ju-Ju-Lia: thaaaanks, i’m doing alright, my mom already knows something up the moment I walked through the door_ **

**_I suspect she’s gonna have me spill all my secrets by the end of the day_ **

**_BUT THAT WOULD BE LEGIT I WANNA SEE YO CATS_ **

_ big boi: go momma Lewis! _

_ You may see my precious kittens later this evening, just let me know when you so desire to see them _

**_Ju-Ju-Lia: I’m still angry at him Damien_ **

**_I’m so painfully angry but I don’t want to be_ **

_ big boi: it’s totally understandable _

_ Just let yourself sort everything out. It doesn’t need to be this second. Sometimes it takes years to fully understand oneself, but you need to be patient. It sounds absolutely corny, but meditation or yoga really does help _

**_Ju-Ju-Lia: im kind of desperate at this point_ **

**_I will take corny over nothing_ **

_ big boi: you got this Jules _

_  
  
  
  
_

_ Giiiiiirls Chat: _

_ Liv-Liv (heart emojis): I MISS YOU GUYS _

_ Except Courtney, she’s right here _

_ Court(heart emojis): hehe i can touch your bum;) _

_ BIG BOSS: WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT TEXTING PDA _

_ Liv-Liv: STOP YELLING _

_ Court(heart emojis): YEAH STOP IT YOU BULLY _

_ BIG BOSS: IM THE BULLY?! _

**_I really miss you guys;(_ **

_ Mari(heart emojis): GROUP HUG ONCE WE GET BACK IS NEEDED ASAP _

_  
  
  
  
_

December 24th: 

_  
  
  
_

_ Court(heart emoji): HAPPY CHRIMBUS EVE _

**_Julieeee: MERRY CHRYSLER EVE YA MESSY AMINALS_ **

_ Court(heart emoji): yASSSS _

_  
  
  
  
_

_ Liv-Liv(heart emoji): mewwy chwistmas eve \>o</ _

**_My (other) Blonde Babe: thATS SO CUTE_ **

**_MERRY ANIME CHRISTMAS EVEEEE_ **

_ Liv-Liv(heart emoji): get it, it’s me being excited for chwistmas! _

**_My (other) Blonde Babe: yur cuuuuute_ **

_ Liv-Liv(heart emojis): \>~</ _

_  
  
  
  
  
_

_ Cat Overlord: dude did we stay up until three in the morning facetiming each other our animals and then fall asleep or was that a fever dream? _

**_Julia GRACE: i believe we did sir_ **

**_AND NOW ITS CHRISTMAS EVE TIME TO LAY OUT COOKIES FOR SANTA_ **

_ Cat Overlord: don’t you mean SATAN _

_ Hehe just joshin’ with ya _

**_Julia GRACE: nobody says “joshin’” anymore you dweeb_ **

_ Cat Overlord: who you callin’ dweeb, punk?! _

_  
  
  
  
  
_

December 25th:

@JulesLews:  _ Merry Christmas y’all! _

Tagged: @marielewis_099

Comments: 

@noahgrossman214:  _ are you a cowboi now??? _

@co_mill:  _ cuuuuuuuuuuute _

@oliviasui:  _ daaaaaamn bb _

@atomicmari:  _ I MISS YOU<3 _

@JulesLews:  _ I MISS YOU TOO<3 _

@Shuliaaremyparents_:  _ where’s Shayne???? _

@smmoshf4n:  _ #shulia is dead _

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


_ Shayne: Hey I just wanted to say Merry Christmas Julia _

_ I know you won’t answer, but I just wanted to say something before the year is over _

_ I really like you and I realize without you in my life, I really value you in it _

_ So if you would like to talk to me at some point, I would absolutely appreciate it _

_ Cause I want to explain myself and hear what you have to say _

_ I care about you Julia and I’m going out of my damn mind worrying about you _

_ But anyways, I miss you and I would love to talk whenever you’re free. And I promise I won’t bombard you the moment you get home. _

_ Have a good christmas, Julia _

  
  
  
  
  


January 1st:

  
  
  


_ Shayne: Happy new year Jules _

  
  
  
  


\---

  
  
  


Julia was pleasantly surprised to see that Mari and Damien were the ones selected to come by for the Smosh coffee run the first day that started work again after christmas break. She had been expecting Shayne to take full advantage of the opportunity to explain himself to her and try and worm his way back into her life.

But Julia wasn’t gonna have it. She needed time to herself to work her shit out. She had gone for far too long keeping everything bottled away. She needed to learn to trust people, slowly but surely. And at the moment, Shayne was the trigger that made her want to hide and bottle everything away. She still felt her heart flutter at the mere mention of his name or whenever she saw a picture of him, but she was trying to be strong and move on. 

“Heyyyy babe!” Mari exclaimed, running forward.

Julia had been frowning throughout the entire morning, stressed out over the fact that Shayne had easy access to come in and talk to her, but as Mari rushed forward she grinned and ran around the counter to embrace her. Mari’s arms wrapped around her and instantly Julia felt joy wrap its way around her heart and spread warmth throughout her veins. She couldn’t help it, she started giggling as Mari squeezed her tight.

“Oh I missed you dude!” Mari exclaimed, pulling away and smiling up at her. “How are you feeling? Do you think you can manage to go up there and quite possibly see him?”

Julia felt her heart constrict in her chest.

“I need to do this,” she said through gritted teeth. “I need to get used to it. It’s the only way I’m going to get over this.”

“And hey, you are scaring him instead of him coming to you and scaring you more.” Damien brought up.

Julia grinned and leaned forward, wrapping her arms around Damien’s midsection.

“I missed you guys.” She mumbled into his chest.

Damien fondly rubbed her back, smiling over the top of her head at Mari.

They got the coffees done, through a few stories that the two relayed upon Julia of their winter trips, and then they trekked up the hill to the Smosh offices. Julia smiled at the guard, showing her badge and setting his coffee down for him on his desk.

“Welcome back, Julia.” He said with a polite smile.

Julia felt more at ease as she walked the halls and imagined herself painting the walls with her colors, making it her own territory so that she didn’t get nervous. They walked into the Smosh Pit office, Mari had a hand on Julia’s lower back for support, and were instantly greeted by Courtney screaming.

“JULIA!” She exclaimed, taking the drink carriers from her and setting them on a table before embracing Julia roughly.

“Oh god!” Julia exclaimed as her breath was knocked out for a second.

“Geez, Courtney, don’t kill her! We still need our coffee.” Noah said with a grin, walking up and giving her one of his hugs. “It’s good to see ya again, squirt.”

“The hell?! Squirt?! Is that the best you can come up with?” Julia exclaimed, placing her hands on her hips sassily.

“Oh like what? You call me ‘Dat Boi’! Like you can do any better!” Noah argued back.

“Girls girls, stop!” Keith exclaimed, placing his hand on Noah’s chest and the other on Julia’s face, making her laugh. “Ew! Did you just lick my hand?!” 

Julia giggled as Keith wiped his hand on his shirt, giving her a disgusted look. Olivia ran over from where she had been sitting with Shayne and embraced Julia, leaning over and whispering in her ear,

“He’s been moping all day. I’m pretty sure he’s been like this for weeks.” 

“Let him mope, he should feel something bad so that he can understand what it feels like.” Julia hissed.

Olivia squeezed her arm and gave her a sympathetic look. Shayne finally stood up awkwardly, slowly sliding forward to join the group. His eyes were bright and he looked so hopeful, ut no one saw the look that Damien sent him, a sharp piercing look that could make a plant wither on the spot. Shayne looked down at the ground and awkwardly looked for his cup. He picked it up and sniffed the contents.

“Bean juice.” He mumbled, mostly to himself, chuckling at the hilarity of having Sammie’s coffee.

“Not even Sammie wanted to make you a drink man,” Damien whispered as the girls grilled Julia with questions. “You know it’s bad when he doesn’t even want to promote his shitty drink.”

Shayne’s shoulders slumped.

“I feel like shit.” Shayne muttered. “More like shit that’s been run over and tossed aside. I feel like roadkill had awkward sex with shit and I’m the demented fetus.”

“That’s… oddly descriptive…” Damien said, trying to suppress his laughter.

“Well I feel it and I don’t know how not to. She won’t look at me man, won’t respond to any of my texts, or even talk to me. How am I going to make it right if she won’t allow me?!”

“The wound is still pretty fresh. Honestly, I would just try and stay as neutral as possible. Don’t come into the shop by yourself, if you do come with one of us or a group. She needs to learn how to trust you again. She’s doing it with everyone, this mental breakdown she had really rocked her hard man.”

Shayne rubbed a hand down his face and moaned.

“Now I feel bad for triggering a mental breakdown. I’m such a shitty human being.”

“Now don’t you start that, Shayne.” Damien demanded. “Don’t go crying to your pillow and making excuses. You like the girl, I would argue that you maybe even love her, so you can’t walk away now. Just be there for her, wait and be with her through the moments when she hates your guts but not really because she feels the same way deep down and keeps using past experiences as roadblocks between you two. She will open up eventually, just be there and slowly gain her trust back.”

Shayne looked up at him, smiling sadly.

“Thanks man.”

“No problem broski.” Damien said, clapping him on the shoulder.

“Never say that again.” Shayne said with a laugh.

  
  
  


\---

  
  


Julia jumped as the doors to the cafe bursted open on a quiet January afternoon. The entire Smosh Pit and Smosh Games crowd came pouring in with Mari leading the group.

“You didn’t say you were going to be the breakfast catering for Smosh Winter Games!” She exclaimed.

Julia grinned evilly as everyone broke forth in excited chatter, surrounding the bar. Julia busted up into laughter as Sammie slowly disappeared into the back kitchens with a horrified expression. Everyone seemed to want to talk to her all at once, asking her questions and demanding answers if she had any other secrets hidden up her sleeve.

She was answering a question that Wes had for her, since they had just started to get along more, when she noticed that Shayne was standing a little further away from everyone. She tried not to let it affect her, but she kept seeing him out of the corner of her eye. As her conversation with Wes died down, she turned to Damien and tugged on his sleeve.

“What’s he doing?” She asked.

“Ah, that is the forlorn expression of an idiot not knowing how to act in awkward circumstances.” Damien said matter-of-factly.

“Why’s he awkward?!” Julia exclaimed, eyeing Shayne again.

“He wants to apologize and fix the mess all at once, but he doesn’t want to bother you and so that makes him all angsty and bottled up inside.” Damien chuckled. “He’s never been one for leaving tension unsettled.”

Julia just stared at him, scowling as her rage boiling inside her stomach at the man subsided for a second. She almost felt bad for the man at seeing the pained expression on his face as Joven tried to get him into conversation. But she snapped out of it, fully intent on feeling rage at him for not being able to be understood. It seemed simple to express this to the man, but something inside Julia snapped and hissed whenever she tried to rationalize her inner turmoil and thoughts.

_ He’s probably still with Kristie anyways…. _ she thought bitterly.

After a couple more minutes, everyone started to leave the shop, all of them expressing their gratitude and excitement to her for helping with the catering for the event. She grinned and watched them all file out, except for Shayne who paused in the doorway. She glared at him, her hands on her hips.

“Well? Are you going to pathetically cry at my feet? Because I don’t want to hear it.”

“I’m thankful for your help with our company so far,” Shayne blurted out, not even looking up at her, “even with how pathetic I was to you.”

Julia was about to snap out a retort but he interrupted her.

“But thank you, it means a lot to all of us.” He said with a pained smile before walking out.

Julia was bewildered as she watched him walk out and catch up with everyone else.

Sammie walked around the corner and made a “tsk” sound.

“He’s still an asshole though.”

Julia barked out a laugh, even though the pained cry inside of her called out as she saw the sad look in his eyes.

  
  
  


\---

  
  
  


_ Court(heart emojis): you packed and ready for the road trip tomorrow?! _

**_Julieeee: yeeeeah, I’ve packed literally every warm article of clothing I could find!_ **

_ Court(heart emoji): oh yeah! You are definitely going to need as many as you can pack! _

**_Julieeee: Court?_ **

_ Court(heart emoji): yeah? _

**_Julieeee: I’m kind of nervous about Shayne…._ **

_ Court(heart emoji): Mari told me that she overheard Damien having a serious talk with Shayne, practically told him to back off entirely for now _

**_Julieeee: for now?! So there’s the looming threat that he’s gonna bombard me again?!_ **

_ Court(heart emoji): you’re gonna have to deal with it sooner or later, Shayne always likes to get to the root of the problem and figure out where he went wrong. He’s always been a bit of a perfectionist in that way…. _

**_Julieeee: ugh_ **

_ Court(heart emoji): I know this is hard for you, Jules, I totally understand where you’re coming from, but at some point do you promise to at least hear him out?  _

_ And don’t get me wrong, I’m upset with him too! But he has been my friend for years and I know him pretty well. I can tell when he’s anxious to fix something, and he’s been acting like a drug addict going sober for the first time ever; he is twitchy and stressed and I’m sure he’s going to go bald from all the hair he keeps tugging on and pulling at. _

**_Julieeee: I know you’re right, but there’s still this vicious anger inside of me whenever I think of him….I don’t know how to be in the same room with him let alone hear him out without getting extremely upset._ **

_ Court(heart emoji): I think the heart of the issue isn’t with him anymore, idk but I think it’s mostly a problem you have to deal with yourself _

**_Julieeee: deep shit scares me_ **

_ Court(heart emoji): but it’s the deep shit that ends up being the best shit! _

**_Julie: oh god_ **

  
  
  


\---

  
  
  


Julia slept through the entire bus ride, falling asleep on Damien’s shoulder. So she missed seeing the annoyed look on Shayne’s face as he tried to mentally sort himself out so that he didn’t self combust and beg Julia for forgiveness. It was dramatic, but Shayne hadn’t shaved in weeks and came up with the excuse that he wanted to try a new look (new year new me, am i right?), but it was really because of his panic at not having a resolution with Julia. It bugged him so much that he had the power to confront her every day, but he couldn’t because she would just blow up in his face. He had to “give her time to heal”, well he wasn’t being healed in any case over this damn thing and he felt like he was going to explode from all the stress in his muscles tightening together and choking him to death.

Julia got a cabin to herself, set with heat and a wonderful mattress. She set her stuff down and put it all away in the drawers and closet provided. She met up with the other catering company, getting to know the main chef pretty well and talking to him a bit about his company and how he ran the business. 

Mari invited Julia to hang out with them on the first day that they got there while everyone setup for filming the next day. She made sure that the blonde felt comfortable and safe, even though Shayne kept his distance. Mari noted about that and decided to have a talk with the man. She had been used to Shayne in the past always demanding answers and the need for completion in something. So it was a little odd to see the man actually depressed and growing a full on beard.

The first day of the winter games came with a sunny bright day, much to everyone’s enjoyment. Julia was up as the sun was rising, getting the breakfast buffet ready for when people would stumble downstairs. Ian was one of the first ones down, stumbling down the stairs with his phone up to his ear.

“....yeah, I know, it’s still weird though you know? Yeah, I do watch your videos and you seem so happy, but it’s still a lot of getting used to not having you hear up at the cabin.” He looked up and smiled at Julia and her team, plopping himself down in a chair.

Julia knew immediately who he was talking to and decided to leave him be and put out more bagels. Finally, Ian walked up to the line and smiled at her sleepily.

“How are you doing today, Julia?” He asked as he grabbed a banana and one of her specialty homemade bread loafs.

“I’m doing pretty swell, how about yourself?” She asked with a smile.

“I’m pretty fantabulous, I can’t wait to dig into the wonderful foods you have made and provided for us.”

“Would you like any coffee with your meal today?” She asked.

“That would be lovely, thank you.” Ian said with a yawn.

“And just your regular dripp with two stevias?” She asked, pulling out a cup.

“That sounds marvelous.” Ian grinned.

“Well, you may take a seat and one of our lovely assistants will bring this on out to you!”

As Ian took a seat, more people started filtering through. Joven and Mari walked out, having a discussion about a game that came out recently they want to incorporate into the channel. They chatted with Julia as they got their breakfasts and Julia poured their coffees for them. 

The rest of the morning was smooth and slow. It was nothing like working in the shop everyday where she had to be professional, she felt like herself and that she was able to relax. Not even Shayne could get her down that morning. He had smiled politely at her and grabbed some yoghurt and a banana. Something bubbled inside of Julia’s chest until she felt like exploding.

“Aren’t you going to do a drink?” She asked.

He turned around and smiled at her softly.

“I’m fine with just this, but thank you.”

Julia couldn’t help the silliness of being upset. She knew it was silly, outrageous even that she was still furious. But she kind of liked it, being mad, because she had taken too many hits with being just plain and simply nice.

The next few days were just like this, slow and easy going with everyone chilling in the dining room just enjoying their meals together. Julia tried to sort through her mental state after everyone had gone for the games (in which she would watch out of the windows to see everything go down).

Damien had purchased a couple of mental health books for her and coaching tips so that she could read and digest everything and maybe it would help sort her out. Honestly, they didn’t help. The words would just melt together and fade before her eyes and then she would just get even more angry. But one passage in one of the books she flipped through really stuck out to her.

She had heard of this book before, even read the first one when everyone on social media flipped and took aesthetically pleasing photos of it. But she had never realized that a book of poems and words would actually sway something in her like this passage did.

“Love does not look like a person

Love is our actions

Love is giving all we can

Even if it’s just the bigger slice of cake

Love is understanding

We have the power to hurt one another

But we are going to do everything in our power

To make sure we don’t

Love is figuring out all the kind sweetness we deserve

And when someone shows up

Saying they will provide it as you do

But their actions seem to break you

Rather than build you

Love is knowing whom to choose.”

-Rupi Kaur

She sat there on the third afternoon of their stay, reading over the lines multiple times and trying to take it all in. Love was not what Brayden gave her, that was some twisted and warped sense of something Julia didn’t even want to know about. She knew that not everyone was going to treat her like Brayden did, but it was one of her defense mechanisms from getting hurt that she mentally compared relationships to how hers burned and detroyed itself and her along with it.

She was about to break into sobs, good tears that were the most emotion she had expressed in weeks, when the doors to the dining hall burst open and Wes and Damien came running in with Shayne in their arms.

“Do you you know where the nurse is, Jules?” Damien asked, his voice trying to stay calm but she picked up on the undertone to it.

Julia’s eyes widened as she took in Shayne’s condition. He was limping and putting almost all of his weight on Damien. He looked like he was in pretty severe pain, but he kept screwing his face up in an effort to hold it all in. Julia felt her heart drop as she sat up and gasped.

“I-I’m not sure, I think there might be one downstairs.” She said leading the way down the stairs and to the main floor of the office area where the receptionist to the lodge was.

Julia tried to keep her cool as Wes went up to the window of the receptionists office and asked where the nurse would be. She pointed down the hallway and Julia took the lead again. They finally entered a room where an older lady was in. Shayne started groaning in pain as Damien shifted to set him on the bed, which made Julia’s heart stop beating for a couple of seconds.

She stayed out in the hall and watched as the nurse pulled up Shayne’s pant leg, grimacing at the sight of an already forming lump and bruise. She didn’t realize she started shaking until Damien came up next to her and lead her away.

“What happened?” She murmured.

“We were all just goofing around on the sleds and trying to do little tricks and stuff and Wes dared him to do it because he had been moping in the background.” Damien said, steering her further down the hall, “But then Joven unknowingly said “he’s probably too upset over Julia not being here” and then he got all defensive and upset. He tried to go over the jump, but he overestimated and he landed on his leg wrong. We’re just hoping he didn’t break his leg, which seems a little unlikely since he could put some pressure on it.”

Julia scowled at Shayne’s recklessness and also that she was a sore spot for him. He was a sore spot for her, it was disconcerting to see that the guy got all upset.  _ Maybe he’s just upset over not getting me in bed…. _ that sparked anger in her veins and she started pacing until the nurse came out to inform them he was doing good and they could visit him one at a time. Damien went in first, leaving Julia to continue storming around in a circle. 

She didn’t know how she could be this upset, it just  _ was _ . That was the only explanation, she couldn’t explain it. It was just a new part of her being that she was finding normality in: being angry at Shayne for absolutely nothing but existing. She got mad over the though of him being taken by Kristie and then she got mad at the idea of him flirting with her. It was confusing and a constant cycle that she couldn’t explain.

Damien finally stepped out and gave her a warning look.

“You can go in, but be nice.” He warned.

Julia just clenched her jaw, not really making any promises. He must have thought that and said something about standing guard just in case she murdered him in cold blood. She opened the door with force, trying not to storm in but very much doing so. Shayne whipped his head up and scrunched his brow at seeing her there, almost steaming at the ears.

“Jules?” He asked in his soft tone that made Julia even more upset.

“Don’t call me that.” She snapped.

Shayne’s eyes widened as she stepped further into the room.

“What were you thinking?!” She exclaimed, pointing at the temporary cast on his leg. “You could have broken a leg!”

“Oh so now you care about my wellbeing?” He snapped back.

Julia gaped at him in shock and anger.

“I-I d-don’t—shut up!”

“I didn’t even say anything!” He exclaimed.

“I know exactly what you’re thinkin,” she hissed, “you’re ecstatic over the thought of me giving you the satisfaction of worrying. But I’m not! You infuriate me! I want to rip my hair out!” She yelled.

“Why?! Just tell me why so I don’t have to feel the same goddamn way!” Shayne yelled back.

“I don’t know!” She yelled without a filter. “I don’t even fucking know and that’s the worst part! I don’t know why I’m so angered by you! I know I shouldn’t but I j-just do!” She suddenly realized she was crying angry, hot tears but she couldn’t find it in herself to care. “You were the best thing to happen in my boring life, you brough me all these new friendships and a hope inside of me. But then you go and throw me aside into the wind, just like that! I know I have problems— you would if you had been raped by the person you loved!—but I needed time to trust you and get to know you before I just jumped straight into anything! I even said straight off the bat, I have trust issues! But then you just rubbed it in my face as everything inside of me grew for you, bringing your girlfriend into the shop and flaunting it in my face! You kept living life normally as if I didn’t even matter and that ruined me Shayne! You fucking tore me apart inside! And then you went and tried to kiss me behind her back, do you know how that feels?! To be sitting at home and waiting for your boyfriend to get back and then come to find out, the lips he’s kissing you goodnight with were just used to make sweet horrible love to some other bitch! I couldn’t be the other girl in that situation Shayne! I couldn’t do that to another girl when I knew how she would feel!”

Julia was full on sobbing at this point, her knees were shaking, and she couldn’t see anything through her blurred vision. She collapsed to the floor and clutched at her head.

“You ruined me! You made my heart flutter and fly and then you shot me straight out of the sky before I could soar! You’re a monster and I hate you! But I still feel my heart flutter at your stupid face and the goofy smile you wear when you want to make someone smile. I hate you Shayne, I hate you so much!” She sobbed out the last sentence, feeling her heart shatter at her feet.

She sniffed and stood up shakily, wiping at her nose and eyes. Shayne tried to stand up but she scowled at him.

“Don’t you dare touch me, don’t even talk to me!” She yelled, whirling around and whipping the door open.

“Julia, please—” Shayne pleaded.

“Don’t. If deep down in your twisted heart, you maybe have any sort of feelings for me, you would leave me the hell alone.” She growled, not glancing at him as she jerked the door open again and stormed out.

She ignored Shayne’s pleading and Damien’s shouts, she just knew she needed to get the hell away.

  
  
  
  


\---

  
  
  


Shayne’s leg felt better by the next day, he had a slight limp but it was a good thing they weren’t playing anything physical. He had been withdrawn for two, almost three, months now, but he was even more upset the next day at breakfast as he sipped the coffee Damien had gotten for him so that he didn’t have to confront Julia at the buffet. Damien knew better than to speak to him, that Shayne wouldn’t even listen because he was psychoanalyzing himself and what he could have done better. It was a habit that the blonde couldn’t seem to shrug off, the endless stream of criticism in his mind telling him what he did wrong and how he could have done better and mocking him for it.

Julia had dark circles under her eyes from where she sat up late cuddling in Mari’s bunk, crying her eyes out and not getting a lick of sleep. Mari didn’t sleep either, she was too concerned for her friend’s well-being to sleep. Julia felt better knowing that she had Mari, Courtney, and Olivia in her life, but she still had a large gaping hole inside of her chest that was wide and beckoning. 

“I can’t believe I just blurted it all out, Mars. I told him everything in my rage, that I was raped and cheated on I can’t believe how stupid I am.” Julia groaned as Mari waited for her coffee.

“Jules, maybe it will help. It will give him a better understanding of what he did wrong so that he can apologize and leave you alone.” The asian reasoned.

“I feel so open and vulnerable now though, I hate it.” Julia squirmed uncomfortably.

“Did you know she was raped?” Shayne finally said in a low mutter.

Damien looked up with wide eyes.

“Yeah, but I never asked for the details.” Damien said.

“Why didn’t you tell me?! I am such a fucking asshole!” Shayne hissed, literally seething.

“She had to tell you, it’s not mine to tell.” Damien said, taking a sip of his own coffee.

“If I had known—” Shayne groaned, before Damien smacked his arm.

“Well you didn’t, okay? Things would be different, you guys probably would have been together now, but there’s nothing you can do to change that. It’s in the past, Shayne, it’s long since happened.” Damien spoke in a firm tone.

Shayne glared at him, angry tears threatening to spill over his cheeks.

“What you can do now is give her space. Be polite and nice, show her who you really are. Because she has a warped version of what a man should act like because one fucker didn’t do the right thing. That’s not her fault or yours, okay? You’re going to have to deal with it, let her know you and be open and honest. Also, inform her of your single-ness and that Kristie left because you got depressed and went into an episode like you’re doing now. If you really like her, oh hell,  _ love _ her then show her! Don’t force yourself on her, but let her know in simple small forms.” Damien finished, glaring at Shayne as the blonde glared down at the table.

“You can’t overthink this Shayne. You’re just going to get even more messed up and depressed.”

Shayne finally looked up, a tear slipping down his cheek.

“I just feel so bad, I had no  _ idea _ .” He whispered hoarsely.

“Then let her know, be the gentlemen we all know you to be.” Damien said, settling a hand on his shoulder and tugging him in for a hug.

“Thanks Damien.” Shayne muttered as another tear slipped down his other cheek.

“Hey, you can be a pain in my royal ass, but we are bros. And you know what bros do? They call each other out on their bullshit and support them for who they are supposed to be. So prove her wrong, okay?”

Shayne nodded his head, taking another sip of his coffee, unknowing to the glare he was getting from Julia from the buffet.

  
  
  
  


\---

  
  
  


_ Mari(heart emojis): heyyyy, you wanna have a movie night? _

**_My Coffee Bean: sure, I get off work at four_ **

**_Do i need to pick up anything? Snacks, drinks? Other movies?_ **

_ Mari(heart emojis): sure thing! _

_ Oooooh! You can grab those spicy chips I like! _

**_My Coffee Bean: Ah YES_ **

**_I gotchu bae!_ **

**_Hey Mars, Shayne has been acting odd…_ **

_ Mari(heart emojis): how so? _

**_My Coffee Bean: he stops in at the shop, sometimes with Damien or Courtney or someone, but doesn’t look like he’s all moody and distant…_ **

_ Mari(heart emojis): oh? _

_ Shouldn’t that be a good thing? _

**_My Coffee Bean: yeeeeah, but it’s odd. I feel like he has something up his sleeve_ **

_ Mari(heart emojis): hey you’re being paranoid, maybe this is good! You guys can possibly fix things and start fresh! _

**_My Coffee Bean: that’s scary…._ **

**_He already knows too much_ **

_ Mari(heart emojis): but that’s good! Now he knows you and has an understanding! I know you and we are still bestieeees _

**_My Coffee Bean: Maybe, we’ll see…._ **

_ Mari(heart emojis): i swear, you are the most oblivious human being sometimes _

__

@JulesLews: mari knows to capture the aesthetic moments

Tagged: @atomicmari

Comments:

@atomicmari:  _ yesssss I dooooo;) _

@noahgrossman214:  _ nerrrrrd _

@JuleLews:  _ say you, nerrrrrd _

@oliviasui:  _ im digging the aesthetic _

@JulesLews:  _ ;) _

@co_mill:  _ yasssss _

@damienhaas:  _ i like the hair flippy floppy _

@JulesLews:  _ you jealous;) _

@damienhaas:  _ oh forrrrr suuuuure _

@damiennjulia_forever:  _ I ship #jamien so hard  _ @damienhaas @JulesLews

@shuliaismyparents:  _ um no???? _

@damiennjulia_forever:  _ um excuse you, but when was the last time you saw Shayne and Julia interacting? They are dead, #jamien is rising peeps! _

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\---

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_

Julia was used to the ever-present presence of Shayne being in her shop again. He would come in with one of the members of the team and lounge around and chat politely with her before allowing her to work and reading some book in the corner. It was March, the rain season had begun and it had been over a month since she had screamed at him and told him everything about her. She still felt shaky around him, but she was able to have a simple conversation while pouring him a simple dripp coffee.

It was March third and it was raining, but still Shayne had the ability to have an influence of positivity as he walked into her shop. She looked up with a semi serious glare and a raise of her brow a she walked in.  But this time he was alone, a book bag draped over his shoulder and an umbrella in his right hand.

He smiled politely at her and folded up his umbrella. He slowly approached the bar as she finished cleaning out one of her pots. She settled her hip against the counter and watched him behind her glasses, eyeing every single one of his movements like a tiger ready to pounce if something went south.

Because anything could go wrong now! He had changed the playing field by showing up alone! That was different, and different had a habit of fucking up everything in her life at the moment!

“I think I might change it up a bit, instead of my regular dripp.” Shayne spoke, his voice rough from breathing heavily in the rainfall. “I’m gonna go with the hot chocolate you made me a while back.”

“Alright, cream on that?” She asked, grabbing a medium cup and looking at him expectantly.

“Sure, extra cream as always!” He said with a polite grin.

“Alright I’ll have that out for you shortly.” She said curtly, getting started on boiling the water.

“How’s the day been? Busy at all?” He asked the same question he used every day, making Julia feel a little more at ease at the familiarity of their weird truce.

“Yeah a little more so than usual, the rain seems to call everyone in for warm drinks.” She said, eyes on her hands as she mixed ingredients together swiftly.

“Yeah, Joven fell in a puddle today.” Shayne said with a chuckle.

Julia couldn’t help the laughter that bubbled up at the visual that popped in her head. She glanced up at him, aware of the crack in their polite conversing, but was glad to see that he didn’t even react to her slip up.

“Do I even want to ask?” She said.

“It was pretty hilarious, Wes almost peed himself laughing.” Shayne chuckled a little more.

Julia couldn’t help the crack of a smile on her face as she poured on the cream ontop. She dprinkled the cocoa powder, cinnamon, and spice on the top of the cream and placed the cup up on the counter.

“That will be two thirty six.” She said, pulling the order up on her register.

“Alright.” Shayne said, handing her three dollars and grabbing a five to put in her tips. 

“Why do you do that?” She found herself asking.

He raised a brow at her as he set the bill in the container.

“Because I want to, and you provide good service.” He smiled a little more warmly. “And because you have to deal with my ugly mug.”

Julia found the corners of her lips quirking up. She din’t know what to say, but the smile alone seemed to be enough for him. He raised his cup to her, smiled, and walked over to the corner he usually sat in. She watched him for a bit, pulling out a book with a leather bookmark in the middle of it, and propping his feet up on the pedestal in front of his chair.

Julia smiled, smiling despite the fading anger in her stomach. She couldn’t deny it, she knew she was fond of his little quirks, she just was defensive and careful of her heart.

She kept smiling at him and didn’t even notice the doors open again. It wasn’t until the wind hit her skin, causing goosebumps to spring up, that she noticed and jerked around.

“Hello how—” she froze, her throat instantly closing in on itself and lump forming.

Right before her was Brayden. 

It felt like she was dying, slowly and painfully. He heart seemed to stop and she couldn’t breathe as Brayden smirked and walked up to the counter.

“Hey Julia.” He said, his voice alone making her shutter.

She didn’t know what to do, what to say, or how to act in this situation. She hadn’t seen him ever since she stormed out of the house when she caught him in the act. She had ran to her dorm room, having a panic attack and almost passing out until her dorm mate found her and gave Julia her own inhaler.

“Wh-What can I get started for you today?” She finally spoke up, her words bland and dry on her tongue.

“I’ve been looking for you everywhere. I thought you went back to your hometown and I scoured everywhere. You’ve been in this shithole this entire time?” He asked, ignoring her question.

“Are you going to order something?” She asked, her voice shaking.

“Julia, c’mon! I’ve been worried about you.” He pleaded.

Julia couldn’t speak over the blinding anger that rose in her throat.

“Hey ma’am,” Shayne’s voice interrupted her anger, “can i get a water? The cocoa made me a little parched.” He said with a chuckle, stepping more in front of Brayden.

“S-S-Sure.” Julia stuttered, her limbs slow and lumbering as she grabbed a medium sized cup and started filling it with ice.

“C’mon Julia, speak to me. You just left three years ago!” Brayden continued his pleading.

Julia couldn’t say anything, she just kept stuttering and shaking.

“Hey buddy, it seems like your rattling her.” Shayne suddenly spoke up again, pleasant and chipper sounding, one of the acting voices she was so accustomed to hearing.

“What do you want dude?! Just take your water and leave! I’m trying to talk with my girlfriend.” Brayden exclaimed.

“Well, from the sounds of it, she left you three years ago. I would think that means she isn’t yours anymore…” Shayne reasoned.

“What the hell is your problem?! Leave blondie!” Brayden shoved at Shayne’s chest.

Shayne just laughed and smiled at him.

“I think you should leave, you are being a public nuissance and disturbing this lovely lady.”

“Are you fucking her?! Oh, or even better, do you want to and trying to get on her good terms? Cause guess what buddy, she won’t let you anywhere near that tight pussy of hers!” Brayden snapped.

Julia was shaking with rage and fear, tears pouring down her cheeks as shame filled her entire being. She didn’t want Shayne here to hear all of these accusations and the truth. She had wanted to hide this part of her life, but now it was crawling right back up to swallow her whole. Maybe it was what she deserved….

“Unlike you, I’m a normal human being and gentlemanly enough to not fuck her without her consent.” Shayne smirked suddenly. “Do you know what that is? Consent? Or is that some foreign concept to you—”

Brayden lashed out and swung his fist into Shayne’s nose. Julia let out a scream and scrambled for her phone. Shayne held his nose for a second and looke dup at him with the most serious look Julia had ever seen on him in her life. He was almost scary looking, his jaw all clenched and tight and a raging fire in his blue eyes.

“Listen here, you dick, you need to get the hell out of here. Do not come back, do not try and contact Julia again. If you do so or I or any of mine and Julia’s friends find out you tried, we will report you to the authorities.

“And another thing, learn some respect for women. When a woman says no, she means it! It doesn’t make her a prude and if she does have a lot of sex that doesn’t make her a slut! Being a virgin is perfectly okay and having slept with multiple partners a week is too! A woman should be able to live in a world where her choices are made for her, she’s already had to. We as men should be able to provide a world for the women in our lives with safety and security because they battle such a different war than we do. A woman birthed you into this world and a woman could so easily take you out. You better watch yourself, you sick rapist.” Shayne hissed, shoving Brayden.

Brayden was about to yell again when Shayne grabbed his collar and shoved him to the door.

“There are security cameras everywhere in this vicinity, try to enter here again and you will be stopped!” Shayne yelled as he slammed the door to the shop shut with a force.

The shop was silent once again, the jazz music playing faintly above and Shayne’s heavy breaths were all that inhabited it.

“I’m sorry, I might have gotten a bit out of hand—” Shayne apologized with a wince.

“Don’t apologize you moron.” Julia muttered. “Is your face okay?”

Shayne whipped his head up, shock apparent on his features.

“Don’t look so shocked, Topp, you just stepped in when I couldn’t even defend myself. You deserve more than a cold silent treatment.” Julia muttered, feeling awkward.

Shayne smiled, knowing that progress was being made.

_  
  
  
_

\---

_  
  
  
_

_ Damien C(at) Haas: sooooo Shayne just told me a story _

_ Your ex showed up and tried to harass you?! _

_ Are you okay?! _

**_Julia G(oat) Lewis: yeeeeeeah_ **

**_I felt so useless! I couldn’t do or say anything cause I was just so shocked and scared!_ **

_ Damien C(at) Haas: well it was a good thing Shayne was there! _

**_Julia G(oat) Lewis: I thought Shayne was gonna fight him and part of me wanted him to so I had an excuse to be mad at him for a starting a fight in my shop…._ **

**_But he was so polite!_ **

_ Damien C(at) Haas: dare say, nice? _

**_Julia G(oat) Lewis: shut up_ **

**_You’re making fun of me_ **

_ Damien C(at) Haas: oh no, I shan't ever do such a thing! _

_ I think it’s great that he was able to control himself and politely escort the dick out. You shoulda seen him, Jules, he was so upset about the whole debacle. He might have fought someone on the spot _

**_Julia G(oat) Lewis: That’s the thing! He knows too much about me!_ **

_ Damien C(at) Haas: and that’s a bad thing….? _

**_Julia G(oat) Lewis: yes! I’m a screw up! I’m a weird person! He doesn’t deserve all this horrible emotional baggage that I have and all the issues in my brain that make me want to short circuit and die in a corner alone!_ **

**_I’m a mess Damien, he doesn’t deserve to know that and be with me. But now he knows and I’m scared, even though I know what to expect_ **

_ Damien C(at) Haas: Imma be blunt with you Jules, you’re an idiot _

**_Julia G(oat) Lewis: what?!_ **

_ Damien C(at) Haas: you’re an idiot and he’s an idiot! You both like each other like a friggin lot! He wanted to fight the guy who did you wrong! You want to change and take care of your mental issues so that he doesn’t have to deal with them! But you guys are huge flip floppin idiots! He overthinks every little damn thing and you hide from the big problem! I can’t tell you to get over it, because it’s hard and I understand, but if you really like the guy then dammit, just go for it! Because there’s nothing to be scared about! The blonde idiot likes you back, through the thick and thin, the mental issues, the horrible exes and break-ups, and all the weird goofiness inbetween. _

_ Give the guy a chance to prove himself, Jules _

**_Julia G(oat) Lewis: …..I’ll think about it_ **

_  
  
  
  
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\---

_  
  
  
_

Shayne came in the next week like nothing happened. Julia had flinched, knowing that his cool blue eyes caught the movement. But she couldn’t help herself, she was scared. She was scared to see the disgust in his eyes, the hesitation. But instead he found the same sparkle in his eyes, the fond smile quirking his lips up and forming an endearing dimple.

“I’ll take a chai iced tea today, I’m feeling a cool, edgy, hipster vibe today.” He said, using his hipster tone.

“Alright, got it Kaleidoscope, do you spell that with a C or a K? And how many I’s do you use in that?” Julia went along with the joke.

Shayne laughed, a wonderful high pitched sound that made Julia grin despite the nerves shaking her limbs together like a palm tree in a windstorm.

“Um there should be a Z in there instead of an S.” Shayne continued to play along.

Julia finally cracked and laughed, mixing the chair and milk together.

“How’s it been?” Shayne casually asked, plopping down on his stool.

Julia knew he was secretely asking if Brayden had been back at all without actually saying it. She smiled as she looked up at him, seeing the concern in his eyes hidden behind his attempt at being casual.

“It’s been good, not too busy since the rain let up.” She answered, her voice a little soft to her ears.

He grinned, getting the message.

“Good.”

Shayne started coming in more frequently, always getting something a little different. He would sometimes order the same thing a couple of times, but then he’d order something he had once before, saying that it a was the perfect drink for is mood. He always brought his laptop and a book with him, plopping himself in the far corner and leaving her alone for the rest of her shift. He would always leave right as Sammie or Caleb clocked in to take over for her, just a little bit before she would leave just so that he didn’t interfere with her just in case she was hesitant or weird.

Julia appreciated it, it almost felt like he was a guard dog, always peering out the window every few minutes as if he was trying to find Brayden in the crowd to scare him away. She got her confirmation a couple weeks after the event when Shayne suddenly stood up and stood in the window more, glaring out into the street. Julia felt her cheeks pale as she whipped her gaze out into the street, seeing a blonde head fade into the crowd.

“W-W-Was—” She couldn’t finish the sentence over the lump forming in her throat.

“He panicked and ran,” Shayne said in a low growl, “I’m more concerned of him waiting until after your shift…” He turned to her with concern and a little bit of hesitancy in his tone. “D-Do you want me to walk you home after work? Or am I overstepping my boundaries? It’s okay if you wouldn’t like that….” Shayne mumbled the last few words, blushing a red tint.

“Honestly I would love that.” She found herself saying.

He looked at her with wide eyes, her heart pumping a little faster at her honesty. It was interesting, her heart seemed to be healing itself. She didn/t feel the roaring anger whenever she saw him. She hadn’t seen him with Kristie in a long time so she assumed they had broken up, but she wanted to be sure about that. But it shocked Julia to her core that she would actually be able to heal a little.

“Alright, I’ll wait here when you get off your shift.” He smiled a small, hesitant smile.

She felt an ache in her stomach at his hesitancy and she instantly felt bad and angry at herself for making him to hesitant and wary of her. She knew that she had a bit more healing to go through and that taking things this slow and gradual was a good thing, but she wanted to assure him that she was trying.

So she smiled and took his hand in hers, squeezing it for a brief moment before she pulled it back.

“Thank you Shayne.” She said, trying very hard to show her gratitude in her eyes.

The look in his eyes was worth all the pain she had felt, if it meant that she got to see the hope and the life return to him.

_  
  
  
_

\---

_  
  
  
  
_

_ Mari(heart emojis): hey weren’t you going to send me your drabbles?! _

_ I wanna see theeeemmm _

**_My Coffee Bean: ughhhhh I forgot about that!_ **

**_Pls don’t make me_ **

**_They are so horrible_ **

**_I can’t even remember what I wrote in them! It was months ago when I was angry and bitter!_ **

_ Mari(heart emojis): hey, its the raw beauty that’s in your mind. I wanna read it! You’re getting so much better at expressing your thoughts more, it’s time to step it up man! _

**_My Coffee Bean: you’re not gonna be able to understand any of it_ **

**_I don’t even think it’s coherent enough to understand!_ **

_ Mari(heart emojis): just send me the damn journal entries Julesssss! _

**_My Coffee Bean: FINE_ **

**_Email notification from My Coffee Bean: 1 pdf attachment file_ **

_  
  
  
  
_

_ The Blue-Eyed Boi: hey, what is the most complicated drink you can make? Askin’ for a friend _

**_Hey Jules: ummmmm probably a_ ** **_half-whole milk, one quarter 1%, one quarter non-fat, extra hot, split quad shots (1 1/2 shots decaf, 2 1/2 shots regular), no foam latte, with whip, 2 packets of splenda, 1 sugar in the raw, a touch of vanilla syrup and 3 short sprinkles of cinnamon. That’s like all the most complicated stuff in one drink_ **

**_Why you askin’?_ **

_ The Blue-Eyed Boi: what would you do if I came in and ordered that tomorrow? _

_ (laughing emojis) _

**_Hey Jules: I would kill you_ **

**_On the spot_ **

****

@shaynetopp:  _ this is the reaction you get after ordering the most complicated coffee drink on the menu _

Tagged: @JulesLews

Comments:

@damienhaas:  _ my insides caught on fire just by the glare alone _

@co_mill:  _ lolz, she could kill with that look _

@atomicmari:  _ that stare has me whet _

@JulesLews:  _ ;) _

@JulesLews:  _ i hate you _

@shaynetopp:  _ but do you really? _

@JulesLews:  _ let’s fight _

@shuliiia_:  _ yesss my parents! _

@smmoshgaames:  _ i ship it so hard _

@shuliaismyparents:  _ take that #jamien fans!!!!!! _

@sammietheman:  _ i get that look everyday, you’re not special _

@co_mill:  _ oh s h i t _

**  
  
  
  
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**  
  
**

“Seriously, Jules, I think you need to show this to Sunny and get his editorial thoughts on this. It’s amazing!” Mari exclaimed.

Julia had taken the rest of the afternoon off from her shift to spend the day at the Smosh Games office to chat with Mari about the project she had started working more seriously on. She had shown Damien as well, and the both of them encouraged her to sort out all of her journal entries into a book format. The journal entries were all poems and entries of her pouring her heart and soul onto paper. It was pretty personal to her, but after seeing the reactions from her two closest friends, she wanted to make it something that could help others.

She then showed Shayne, feeling a little more comfortable around the blonde to sit down and show him everything since he already knew it all. He would sit in the shop during the afternoons when he got off or didn’t have any work to do at the office and read through her manuscripts, making notes for her to add in or improve upon. 

“I don’t want to take out anything, because then that just takes away the authenticity of your work. But there are things to add in or improve, so I can help you there.” He had told her with a seriousness that still baffled her on occasion.

It had been a month (it was already April and it was pouring rain and blossoming flowers everywhere) of this newfound friendship between each other. They texted upon occasion, sending each other stupid memes and laughing over jokes, but there was a change or a shift between them. They had a better understanding of each other now that their thoughts and insecurities had been laid out on the line.

“I trust you, Damien, Shayne, Boze, Courtney, and Olivia to read it and understand. But it’s a whole different thing when some outsider reads it, no offence to Sunny or anything. It’s just, different you know?” Julia argued.

“I get that, but he has amazing input and great ideas to storytelling.” Mari reasoned.

Just then the door to the Smosh Games Office opened and Damien and Shayne walked in. They grinned and waved at the two of them with enthusiasm.

“Hey ya cutie patooties, what’s crackalackin’?” Damien greeted, pulling a swivel chair up in front of them.

Shayne grabbed his own chair and scooted up next to Julia, peering over her shoulder.

“Ooooh, working on your story?” He asked.

“I’m trying to convince her to ask Sunny for editorial advice.” Mari said.

“Oh that’s awesome! Sunny is great!” Damien said enthusiastically.

“What about me?” Sunny’s voice asked from the doorway.

Julia felt her face flush as Mari jumped up.

“Sunny! We need your help!” She exclaimed.

“Oh god…” Julia grumbled.

“What’s up?” Sunny asked, playing with some folders in his hands.

“Julia has been writing a book very personal to her and she’s trying to incorporate characters in it but she needs help. Would you be willing to take a look at her story and add in any input?” Mari asked the man.

“Sure I don’t see why not! If you’re okay with that, Julia?” Sunny agreed, turning and speaking to Julia.

“A-Are you sure? I-I don’t know if you’ll even like it….” Julia stuttered.

“Hey, you’ve heard the saying, “don’t judge a book by it’s cover”! I haven’t even read the sucker yet! I would love to if you want the help!” Sunny said enthusiastically.

Julia felt nervous, but suddenly she felt a warm hand on her shoulder. She peered over to see Shayne’s hand there, a small smile on his face. Her heart warmed at the compassion there in his eyes. She turned and noted the warm looks she was getting from Damien and Mari. Damien clapped a hand on her knee and squeezed it, while Mari nudged her other shoulder with hers and grinned widely at her.

“A-Alright, I can email the link to you.” Julia agreed.

She felt more enthused by the proud grin she was getting from her friends, Shayne most of all.

**  
  
  
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**  
  
  
**

_ He was a being of the clouds; his eyes were of the sky and the clouds that moved at the pace of a snail across the large expanse of heaven above were the wondrous thoughts in his pretty head. She always wanted to know the thoughts that made him smile and laugh, what made him think of her and stretch his hands out to her to help her up, and why he wasted his innocence on her. When he smiled the clouds parted and the sun shone as yellow and bright as his hair.  _

_ She wasn’t all that sure that he was real, he would visit her in dreams and on evenings when her sanity was thin and the ghosts of her thoughts drifted through the night and the graveyards of her past. He had a way of enchanting her, twisting her thoughts around and making her see things in a beautiful and grand light. She had seen the future as a dreaded path ahead of her, steps missing from her past decisions to take the wrong road; but his hands guided her around the holes and patches where she would have fallen. He helped her up when she stumbled and fell, he kissed the top of her head when she was sure all hope was lost, and he held her with a newfound strength everytime. It was magical, his presence at her side; she could feel the ghost of his lips even when she was trapped in the reality she lived in, day in and day out. _

_ He was an angel, his wings mixing with the grass and dirt of this earth with how humble and beautiful his soul was. He allowed her to fuss over their state, but he just smiled and rubbed her cheek with affection. He was everything and anything she would have wanted, but he only existed in this beautiful world she had fabricated from the bare minimal faith she had left inside her empty soul.  _

**  
  
  
  
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\---

**  
  
  
**

“Hey Shayne,” Julia spoke up as she poured cream on top of his hot chocolate, “this is an awkward question, but it’s been bothering me for a while….” 

Shayne looked up at her, shifting the new reading glasses he had gotten prescribed with (he had been reading in the dark too much and the eye doctor gave him a low prescription brand of reading glasses for him to use) further on his nose.

“And what’s that?” He asked, trying to sound casual but his voice pitched slightly with curiosity and worry.

“Uhhh,” she paused, thinking on how to phrase this and not sound weird, “er, are you still dating Kristie?”

His eyes widened a little as he took his glasses off and closed his book with the bookmark in place.

“I just haven’t seen her in months, I swear I’m not weird or obsessive!” Julia blabbed on, finding that she couldn’t shut up. “You don’t think I’m weird right? I swear I’m not….”

Shayne just laughed and grabbed one of her hands, stopping her from shaking and hyperventilating.

“No, we broke up months ago. I, er,” he paused and blushed. “I was in a weird funk for a while and she couldn’t deal with my weird behavior. So, we broke up and she is now dating some guy who works at a movie store….”

Julia giggled, clamping a hand over her mouth as Shayne grinned at her.

“What’s so funny? My depression?” He laughed.

“No, she definitely downgraded then.” Julia said, setting his coca on the bar.

Shayne grinned wider and accepted the cocoa.

“Oh really? So I’m mega super handsome and Dream Daddy material then?” Shayne teased.

Julia blushed and laughed, finding the humor between them once again feeling free and liberating.

“Oh totally, blondie. The baby face look is definitely what girls are looking for in women, oh I mean men.” She teased.

Shayne just shook his head as he laughed.

“That was good, I’ll give you that Jules.” 

Julia’s heart flipped at her nickname being used by him again. The words she so desperately wanted to say got caught up in her throat before she could open her mouth. She wanted to say she was sorry, but what for? Her heart was mending itself together again, but there were still times when she woke up and didn’t want anything to do with Shayne. 

He seemed to know those days; he would walk in slowly and order a simple dripp coffee, give her a small smile, grab his book bag and sit in his corner to read relentlessly until her shift was over. By then she had gotten over her funk and read her favorite copy of Rupi Kaur’s newest poem book  _ The Sun and Her Flowers _ . She would read her favorite passages, mostly the ones from the Rooting section, and then be in a better mindframe. Then she would clock out and allow him to walk her home and he would read some of the highlights in his own books out loud to her and ask her opinion on them.

But sometimes she was still frustrated at the end of the day, every blonde head in the crowds outside reminding her of Brayden and the irony of Shayne’s blonde top getting under her skin. She would clock out, wave at him and he would get the message. She knew he would walk on the opposite side of the street a few yards behind, and through her anger she would reason with herself that it was for her safety just in case Brayden popped up out of nowhere.

She wanted so desperately to say that she was sorry, it was aching inside of her and she didn’t know how to get it up and out of her mouth. But then sometimes she would see something in his eyes, a hesitancy, and she knew it wasn’t the right time. They were both gravitating around each other, coexisting in this dance that they were playing without words. She just couldn’t wait for the day when it came easy for her to express her deep gratitude to the guy for his existence in her life.

**  
  
  
  
**

\---

**  
  
  
**

_ “Why do you do this for me? You’re getting yourself tainted just by looking at me!” She exclaimed, her fists clenched and firm against her sides. _

_ He just stared at her with his infuriating, sweet smile; the same one he used every day when she said something ridiculous. He stooped down to her level and caressed her cheek, ignoring the dirt on her face that smeared against his pale thumbs. _

_ “You are worth it all; the pain, the heartbreak, the raw humanity of life—you are worth it all. Because what is a life if you aren’t ready to get your hands a little dirty? _

 

 

__

@JulesLews: april showers

Tagged: @shaynetopp

Comments: 

@co_mill:  _ you cuuuuute _

@JulesLews:  _ aw thaaaaanks _

@atomicmari:  _ what that mouth do;) _

@JulesLews:  _ you’ll see later;) don’t tell Peter !!!! _

@peter_kitch:  _ @atomic mari @JulesLews I’m onto you two _

@keithleakjr:  _ @atomicmari YOU STOLE MY LINE _

@atomicmari:  _ FIGHT ME WALMART FLITZ _

@noahgrossman214:  _ oh my, you went there _

@shuuulia__:  _ I’m so glad my parents are back together:) _

_  
  
  
  
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_  
  
  
_

“You ready for chicken wings and hot hot sauce?!” Damien exclaimed as he stepped out of Shayne’s car, holding one of the vlog cameras that Courtney and Olivia had entrusted him with.

“Yassss! But it’s a maybe on the hot hot sauce.” Julia said with a little pout as she thought of the steaming hot sauce that was offered at Buffalo Wild Wings.

“We must do it for the viewers and fans, Julia my child.” Damien said, caressing her head awkwardly, making her giggle.

“This ain’t your typical, tame coffee shop vibe, you little hipster child.” Shayne said, laughing contagious as he spoke.

“You little coffee bean!” Damien exclaimed, going along with it.

“Dear gooood!” Julia exclaimed.

The two guys laughed as they walked up to the entrance of the restaurant, waving at Keith and Noah straight ahead. They got a booth near the bar where most of the t.vs were positioned and they got more angles of the different games going on at the same time. Damien was telling Julia about something cute Freyja had done when Courtney and Olivia finally arrived.

“Alriiiight, so we obviously have to order wings!” Noah said, setting his menu aside.

“They sell wings here?” Courtney sarcastically asked.

“Ha ha,” Noah sarcastically laughed, “but yes. We must get wings, that’s an obvious thing that we must do.”

“We should get one of the baskets, like they have the baskets with all kinds of things in them like wings, pretzels, mozerrella sticks, etc.” Olivia chimed in.

“Alright, we get a thing of wings and then get these two different baskets. Everyone good with that?” Shayne asked, sweeping his eyes over everyone, but lingering on Julia.

“Sounds like a plan!” Damien said, stacking his menu on top of Noah’s. “Drinks anybody? We doing beers or non alcoholic berverages?”

The waiter finally arrived, taking their drinks (they all agreed to try beer, since not all of them had ever tried it or liked the flavor), and then going back to the kitchen to grab them. Julia laughed at a joke Olivia said, Courtney navigating the camera around and turning it to her for a moment. Julia was on the edge of the bench, the closest to the edge and the bar, so she was trying to scoot as far from Courtney and her camera as much as possible. Suddenly the smile froze on Courtney’s face and she turned her head to a spot over Julia’s shoulder.

“Hey Jules, that guy is staring straight at you….”

Julia felt her blood turn to ice as she glanced over to see Brayden at the bar, staring straight at her. She whipped her head right back around and tried to ignore the way her heart was threatening to beat out of her chest.

“Who is that guy?” Courtney asked, settling a hand on her lap.

“What guy?” Keith exclaimed, getting everyone’s attention as Keith twisted around in the booth to see over Noah’s head.

Julia looked up to see Damien and Shayne’s reactions. Damien was looking at her with concern, he was saying something but Julia’s attention was drawn to Shayne. The blonde was glaring, his jaw locked, and a fire ignited in his eyes. She knew he was making perfect eye contact with Brayden, just by the mere rage building up in his eyes.

“Shayne?” Julia whimpered, reaching out and clasping Shayne’s hand.

That seemed to knock him out of his stupor, his blue eyes softening and snapping to Julia’s face. His hard feautures softened and he looked concerned as he frowned at her.

“Are you okay? Do we need to leave?” He asked, his voice a low growl from the anger he was battling.

“I don’t want him to get under my skin.” She managed to get out shakily. “I want to go out to dinner with my friends and enjoy my evening without feeling threatened by him.”

“Are you sure? Because if you start to feel otherwise, we will leave if you need to.” Shayne asked.

“I’m sure,” she said, pushing her shoulders back more confidently. “I’m done being scared.”

“Who is that? Is that…?” Olivia asked.

“That’s my ex.” Julia spoke with venom in her voice, turning and scowling at Brayden, feeling better and confident already.

The rest of the evening went on, their beers showed up and they all had a contest to see who could swallow their beer without wincing or complaining about the taste. Olivia lost, spitting it up a little and shoving her mug towards Shayne, who was laughing uncontrollably at her reaction. Shayne offered it to Damien, since he was the driver that evening. After a few moments though, the waitress came back with a glass of some sort of martini that was bright pink, setting it down in front of Julia.

“Um, I didn’t order this…” She muttered, scrunching her brow up confused.

“The gentlemen right there at the bar bought it for you and offered to pay for your meal only.” The waitress said, pointing straight at Brayden.

Julia clenched her jaw as the waitress left. She glared at Brayden, anger rising up in waves as he smirked and winked at her. She turned to Shayne and shoved the drink between the two of them, since he was almost directly in front of her on the other side of the table.

“Here, share with me.” She said, taking a sip and then offering him the straw.

He looked at her for a second and then smirked, grabbing the straw and taking a slow, drawn out sip of the flavored drink. She could see Brayden huff and turn around out of the corner of her vision, smirking in victory. She also noted how sexy it was to watch Shayne’s adam’s apple bob up and down and his neck was exposed as he drank the martini.

“Okay, I need to drink water so that I can drive later.” Shayne said, waving at the waitress.

Their food showed up a couple of minutes later. Julia had told the waitress that she wasn’t buying her own individual meal, but to not tell Brayden that and to give him the bill with no context.

“He’s my creepy ex who’s spying on me, a little revenge is pretty awesome at the moment.” Julia said.

“Okay, and he’s an asshole anyways.” The waitress said. “He tried hitting on me and when I didn’t flirt back, he got all rude.”

“I don’t condone this behavior,” Noah spoke up, already slightly tipsy from the martini he had ordered. “But you could always spit in his food?” He shrugged dramatically, making everyone at the table laugh.

The waitress laughed too.

“I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that, but I am totally taking note of it.” She said with a smirk.

Everyone dug into the food with vigor. Noah and Keith were giggling in the corner, Noah was pretty tipsy and was leaning against Keith in a comfortable manner. Julia grinned, happy that the chemistry between the two of them seemed to be pretty palpable. Shayne noticed too, Julia noted that he smiled softly at the two and almost wistfully. A part inside of Julia wanted to be on that level with the blonde before her. She wanted to sit by his side and have his arm wrapped around her waist. She wanted his warm hugs and the soft smiles that made her heart melt. She wanted something with him, but she was facing a wide chasm with no way to cross but to jump head first. She was teetering on the edge of staying in the safe zone or placing all her bets forward; and it was fucking scary.

Suddenly a shadow loomed over her and Shayne’s hand stretched over and squeezed her own hand. Julia whipped her head up and scowled at Brayden standing above her with their bill in his hands.

“Where’s your meal on here?” He grunted.

“What?” She muttered.

“I’m only paying for your meal, Julia.” He said as if it was obvious.

She clenched her jaw and glared with a new ferocity in her eyes.

“We all ordered food to share, so you either pay for all of us or not at all.” Julia said, standing her ground.

“I’m not paying for these asshats! They’ve changed you and turned you against me!” Brayden exclaimed.

“Excuse me sir,” Damien spoke up in his innocent tone, “I am kindly asking you to fuck off now before we call over our waitress to escort you out.”

“You can’t do that to me.” Brayden said with a sly smirk on his face.

“Um yes we can, you creepy fuck,” Shayne raised his voice a little higher than normal, “you are stalking and creeping around. We have camera footage of that and eyewitness testimonies. You better walk away before you regret it.”

“You can’t steal her away from me.” Brayden hissed, getting closer to Shayne. “She’s mine and always will be mine. She submits to me, I made sure of it. She’s not interested in you, so don’t expect a warm welcome in between her thighs—”

“I. Said. Get. Out.” Shayne said through gritted teeth.

“Make me, pussy!” Brayden yelled, getting more people’s attention. 

Shayne calmly waved at a waitress, who nodded her head while on the phone. Two burly looking cooks stepped out of the kitchen all of a sudden and walked towards Brayden.

“Look buddy, quit the stupid act. You’re a fucking rapist, shitty ass boyfriend. You are a horrible person and don’t deserve any of the attention of any girl out there. Now get out of here.” Shayne said murderously.

Brayden suddenly lashed out and punched Shayne in the nose, screaming nonsense as the cooks ran forward. Brayden got on top of Shayne, throwing punch after punch at Shayne’s innocent face. Julia screamed, barely noticing that Damien had reached forward and grabbed her arm so she didn’t get caught up in the fray. The cooks caught up and grabbed Brayden off of  Shayne by the arms and dragged him away.

“Shayne!” Julia yelped, jumping up from the booth and get to his side.

“You bitch! You belong with me! Whore! Slut!” Brayden screamed through the lobby and out the doors.

Julia was shaking, tears falling down her face as Shayne groaned. His face was all splotchy, his nose looked a little crooked and there was blood coming out of it and a few scratches that had been opened by Brayden’s harsh knuckles.

“I-I-I’m so so sorry Shayne, oh god, I-I’m s-so s-sorry.” Julia sobbed, grabbing his hand and squeezing it tightly in her left hand, her right one brushing Shayne’s blonde locks away from the blood on his face.

The rest of the group had raced out of the booth and gathered in a semi circle around Shayne. Damien squatted down and slowly placed Shayne’s head on his lap, Shayne coughing and groaning at the movement.

“J-J-Jules, s-s-stop apologizing.” Shayne grunted.

Julia just sobbed more, infuriated with Brayden and his antics. She was more upset that he had gotten into her social life and gotten to her friends, attacking and abusing them. She could deal with Brayden’s abuse, she was immune to it by now, but when it happened to her friends she wanted to break down. Her heart was pounding a mile a minute in her chest, making her breathing become shallow and haggard.

Shayne seemed to sense her anxiety as he squeezed her hand and smiled through a grimace up at her. His eyes were still startlingly blue, almost bolded from the red blood on his pale face. 

“It’s going to be okay,” he whispered, “they’ve caught him and have evidence to lock him away now.”

“B-B-But—” Julia stuttered, but Shayne shushed her.

“It’s okay, everything’s fine Jules. It’s not your fault that he’s an asshole and a sick person. You have nothing to worry about.”

The cops finally showed up and some paramedics who surveyed Shayne’s face, confirming that Shayne was okay and that he would have some bruising and swelling and that he needed to apply ice to his cheeks and face. Julia held his hand the entire time, too scared to do anything else. Damien came and told her that Brayden had been arrested and he had spoken to a cop about Brayden stalking her and that they would do an investigation. 

Julia started to relax as the paramedics released Shayne and Noah called a last minute sleepover at his place. They all piled into their cars, all sobered up from the events that had transpired. Julia sat in the back with Shayne as Damien drove Shayne’s car to Noah’s place, holding his hand and playing with his hair to calm herself down. Shayne laid his head against her shoulder in an attempt to release the pain in his neck, rubbing circles onto Julia’s thumb.

They all crashed at Noah’s, spreading out blankets and cuddled up together. Courtney and Olivia snuggled up in their own blanket, but Olivia was propping her head on Keith’s legs while Keith held Noah as the brunette fell asleep with his head on his chest. Damien snuggled up on the couch they had all crashed near, his hand massaging circles on Julia’s head to relax her. Julia was holding Courtney’s hand as she snuggled under the covers, but Shayne snuggled up right next to her and held her against his chest.

Julia fell asleep to Shayne humming Hey Jude in her ear, replacing Jude with Jules.

_  
  
  
  
_

\---

_  
  
  
_

_ Liv-Liv(heart emoji): cuuuuuuute;) _

**_Ju-Ju on tha Beat: stop it moooom_ **

_ Liv-Liv(heart emoji): I WILL GO DOWN WITH MYYYY SHIIIIIP _

__

@JulesLews:  _ this is such an artsy picture, but in reality I was trying to decide between gummy worms or gummy bears… _

Tagged: @damienhaas & @shaynetopp

Comments:

@atomicmari:  _ I LOVE YOU _

@JulesLews:  _ I LOVE YOU TOO _

@oliviasui:  _ bun goalssss _

@bigbossboze:  _ also, bun(s) goals, amiright or amiright???? _

@JulesLews:  _ ok _

@keithleakjr:  _ daaaaamn gurl! lovin‘ the color scheme goin’ on! _

@damienhaas:  _ um incorrect, peach rings are the most prominant choice _

@shaynetopp:  _ take it a step up and purchase sour patch kids _

@JulesLews:  _ how about no ???? let me live my life dad! _

@_damienhaaaas:  _ did anyone notice that Julia called Shayne and/or Damien daddy;) _

@ssmoosh:  _ daddy Shayne;) _

 

__

@co_mill:  _ I luuuuv my bb _

Tagged: @JulesLews & @oliviasui

Comments:

@JulesLews:  _ photocreeeds _

@JulesLews:  _ also,,, my mom’s are so precious !!!! _

@oliviasui:  _ i’m kissing your tummy:) _

@damienhaas:  _ pls stop being relationship goals _

@shaynetopp:  _ JUST STOP IT. STOP BEING RELATABLE _

@co_mill:  _ SUCK ON MY ASSHOLE _

@courtiviiiia:  _ THIS HAS BLESSED ME _

@courtivia_Shuliiiia:  _ shayne’s @JulesLews daddy and @co_mill and @oliviasui are her mom’s,,, yeeeesssss<3 _

_  
  
  
_

\---

_  
  
  
_

_ She carried her mistakes around like a cape with the ends dragging on the ground, she didn’t care that they were tended to or adjusted so that she refrained from getting even dirtier. She didn’t care about dealing with them, she was just embarrassed by the shadows that were casted by them. She was afraid of her own shadow, unaware that that would be the only constant in her life forever until she died; through every change she experienced, her mistakes would always transpire to varying degrees regardless. _

_ She didn’t understand the balance between light and dark, too little or too much, good and bad; she saw one negative in her life and she always would assume the worse. It wasn’t her fault though, life just seemed to rub her the wrong way and she grew through her bad experiences. But because of the dark always shadowing the light in her life, she wasn’t able to understand when something good presented itself to her.  _

_ He was brilliant and wonderful, but she saw it as a threat; that something that beautiful and amazing was a trap to send her lower than she had ever sunk before. She was scared to allow his lips to grace hers, to accept his soothing touch upon her charred skin, for fear of being cast aside later on. She had been used and tossed aside like dirty clothes so often enough that she assumed everyone in her life would do the same thing to her over and over again.  _

_ He pitied her pain, despite her grievances that he not pity her; he couldn’t help it, someone that beautiful and broken didn’t deserve that abuse. She was a creature of the dark, slick black wings that extended from her back gracefully, her horns raised in the air in defiance, and her lips upturned in a sly, dark lipped smirk. He found beauty in the sparks in her dark eyes, the fire that lit her soul and drove her to push and move forward, and the way she so defiantly said ‘no’. But he wanted the best for her, any creature didn’t deserve the pain she carried in her aching and bruised heart. _

_ They were creatures of opposite origins; their fates weren’t originally drawn out to be together in the long run of things. He was pure, white, and made for great purposes while she was dark, fiery, and passionate. But in the midst of their chaos, the dance they both did around one another, their souls intertwined beautifully and balanced out. _

_  
  
  
  
_

\---

_  
  
  
_

It was a week later, almost the end of the month, when Shayne asked Julia out. It wasn’t what like that, not really, but it was a step in the right direction. Julia had been stressing over a passage she was writing about, she was almost finished with her entire book and things were getting down to the nitty gritty details. It was one of those days where she could work at the bar with Shayne when no one was coming in the shop and ask for his opinions.

“C’mon Jules, I’m not writing this for you!” He said with a laugh.

She groaned and pulled at her hair.

“How much can I pay you to do it for me?” She asked.

“Nothing! Do it yourself!”

“But whyyyy?!” Julia groaned.

“Because then it would be my book and not yours. C’mon, Jules, you’re brilliant! You’ve got this.” He nudged her shoulder as she groaned into his arm. “And stop drooling on me you weirdo.”

“But it’s so hard! I want it to end a certain way but it’s hard to make it realistic!” Julia exclaimed.

“How do you want it to end?” Shayne asked her, his chin in his hand as he studied her.

She paused, her cheeks flushing bright red. This story had started off as rantings and ravings in her journals. Damien had pushed her to write down her feelings after Shayne had tried to kiss her and the ideas had sprung forth from that. But the angelic presence in her story had originally been Shayne, her ideas and thoughts about him. 

She thought the world of him, of his ideals and the way his eyes glistened like the bright blue sky above. He really was beautiful and pure to her, and that was the form he took on her journaling. She obviously portrayed herself as a demon as a joke in the beginning, but then she started to connect with herself and she was the road to loving herself more and accepting the rough edges and dark patches inside of her being. 

The book was about a dark being that fell for a higher one, a beautiful being that fell for her too. It is about balance, the chemistry between them, and the beautiful chaos they created. She didn’t give her characters specific names, it seemed wrong to do so since they were projections of herself and Shayne. But originally she didn’t want to give her book an ending, because there was no closure between her and Shayne, but now they were on a pretty positive path. She had thought about it, where they could be heading if he felt the same, and she really wanted it to happen. She had defrosted for a while, spreading her wings more and stretching them out. She was still weak in the knees, but she was starting to itch to do something about the tension between them. 

Ultimately, she saw the ending of the book as them getting together despite the odds, that’s what she truly wanted. But she wasn’t sure if that was possible or real enough. What were the chances of Shayne still liking her? Would he even want to further anything beyond what they had now? Was it worth it to ruin the newly balanced friendship they had created?

“Uh I don’t know.” She stuttered after a pause.

“You can’t just not know! You just told me you had an idea!” Shayne exclaimed.

“W-Well, it’s stupid really…” She muttered, looking at the ground.

“Don’t do that to me, I know when you are lying, Julia.” Shayne said with an affectionate smile. “C’mon, tell me, I’d love to hear and help you figure it out.”

She stared up at him, tense and scared for a second. But as she looked into his eyes, she felt safe. She could feel the warmth radiating from his eyes and the smile he wore fondly. She smiled a small smile in reply, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

“I want them to get together, to finally find a balance to their chaos and support each other.” Julia said in a soft voice.

“Oh really?” Shayne said, almost as if he understood what she really meant. “And what’s stopping you?”

“What if it’s not realistic? She’s a spark ready to go off and he’s perfect reincarnated!” She exclaimed.

“Jules not everyone is perfect.” Shayne said with a bitter undertone. “I see the angel as an image of what’s good but he has the fortune of realizing the raw humanity inside of him to fall for someone and admit his own mistakes. That’s the total opposite of what an angel is supposed to be, they don’t stoop down to humanities level, they soar above it and show only the perfect ways of living up to a greater good’s expectation. Your angel swoops down and falls for a being of beautiful darkness, he admits his own faults and lets his wings drag behind him.

“If anything, the most realistic part is them falling for one another, because they truly do love one another enough to do such crazy antics for the other. The angel gave up all that was holy above the dirt of the earth for her and she gave up the true darkness in her beaten up soul to rise above the dirt for him. Write your ending how you want, but it’s absolutely beautiful for them to become one beautiful chaos together.” 

Julia had tears in her eyes as she stared at him, his eyes on the countertop. She slowly reached forward and clasped his hand with hers. He looked up at her hesitantly as a tear slipped down her cheek.

“That’s exactly how I want it to end.” She said in a hoarse tone.

Shayne knowingly smiled and squeezed her hand, pressing a faint kiss to the top of her head.

That event was what finally got them to go on their first (unofficial) date. Julia had decided to see how Sammie could manage the shop and decided to give herself less hours in order for him to get experience leading Caleb and the new kids, Derek and Kelsi. Shayne met Julia at her apartment on one of her days off, claiming that in order to help her edit her story they needed to get coffee and breakfast at a different cafe that wasn’t her own. 

“But I’ve gotta stay loyal!” Julia exclaimed as she grabbed her purse and sunglasses. 

Shayne laughed, pulling her by the arm out of her front door.

“C’mon, I know this place that has the best danishes!” Shayne said.

“But are they better than my cinnamon rolls?” Julia asked, raising a brow up at him.

Shayne grinned and wrapped an arm around her shoulder.

“No one can surpass your cinnamon rolls, Jules.” He said fondly. “And by the way, I love the glasses, it’s very hipster, might I say.”

Julia blushed as he opened his car door for her.

“Why thank you, Shanye.” She said with a grin.

“Not you too!” Shayne exclaimed.

Julia had to admit, the cheese danishes were to die for, but they didn’t surpass the magnificence of her own cinnamon rolls. She sipped at her coffee by their little window seat and watched as Shayne scrolled through her story written on her laptop.

“I can feel your nervous energy from here.” Shayne muttered as he continued to read and scroll every now and then. “Calm down, it’s alright okay?”

Julia tried to smile but faltered as she set her mug down.

“Sorry, I just really want you to like it….I don’t want it to be bad…” She muttered.

Shayne looked up at her and smiled, grabbing his phone suddenly.

“Okay, just go with it, pose.” He directed, holding his phone up to her.

“What?! We’re having a photo shoot now?!” Julia exclaimed, messing with her hair insecurely.

“Stop it,” Shayne hissed, smacking at her hands. “Just pose, trust me!”

Julia rolled her eyes and tried to smile serenely at the camera. Shayne grinned and snapped a picture, grinning even harder as he held his phone down and pressed on the photo.

“Lemme see!” Julia exclaimed.

Shayne turned his phone around and handed it to her. She gasped as she looked at the photo before her. He had used the portrait mode on his camera and got a beautiful shot of her with a blurred background. It was gorgeous, Julia admitted to herself.

“Send that to me!”

“See!” Shayne suddenly exclaimed.

“What?!” Julia asked, scrunching her brow.

“You trusted me and the picture turned out amazing! But you want to know why it did?” Shayne asked as she rolled her eyes and shook her head no. “Because it was one hundred percent you. You were you and I was able to capture that with your trust in me. That’s how your writing is! It’s amazing, Jules, and you are too scared by yourself to see how amazing it truly is!”

Julia grinned, trying not to get emotional like she wanted to.

“Thanks Shayne.” She muttered.

“You are so welcome, now, I have some little highlights here for you…” Shayne said, turning the computer towards her.

_  
  
  
_

\---

_  
  
_

_ Mari(heart emojis): Mars, I want him to ask me out _

_ Like officially _

_ I think I’m ready _

**_My Coffee Bean: FINALLY_ **

**_I’m glad you are, I know he definitely is:)_ **

 

****

@JulesLews: that moment when you look amazing in all of your photos because all of your friends are amazingly fantastic photographers

Tagged: @shaynetopp

Comments:

@shaynetopp:  _ to be a good photographer you have to have a good model _

@keithleakjr:  _ WRITE THE FANFICTION NOW _

@atomicmari:  _ i love my coffee bae _

@JulesLews:  _ awwwww<3 _

@damienhaas:  _ glasses bros! _

@JulesLews:  _ YAS _

@shuuliiia:  _ MY PARENTS _

@mommymunge_:  _ omg why do they have to be so perfect together _

@sammietheman:  _ this is what betrayal feels like _

**  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
**

_ Ju-Ju the Goat: damien _

_ Please make your friend notice my attraction to him _

_ He is oblivious and has guarded himself from me since my outburst _

_ I just want him to want me this time _

**_Cat: that might be proven to be a little challenging_ **

**_But what is life without a little challenge in it?!_ **

**  
  
  
  
  
**

\---

**  
  
  
  
**

“Are you serious?” Julia muttered, her face pale in shock as she sat in front of Matt Raub and Sunny in Matt’s office.

“Yeah! You’ve done so much for us that we had to reach out to our contacts and see if anyone would accept it.” Sunny said.

“So, am I getting this correct: I’m invited to come along with Smosh to Vidcon as long as I get to work for you guys on creative skits in the future and along with that, there’s an actual author and publisher who wants to take a look at my work?!” Julia exclaimed.

“That would be correct, yes!” Sunny said with a smile.

Julia was silent for a moment.

“Look, you’ve done a lot for us and we’ve never been able to suitably pay you back. This is our way of reaching out to you, and we really do need a writer who can write like you do!” Matt explained.

“I don’t even write skits, I don’t think I’m even Smosh funny!” Julia exclaimed again.

“We like it though, we need more depth here sometimes, and you will be working with funny people to help you add to skits. Sometimes not one person writes the skits, it’s a collection of people and we would love to add your skills into the mix here at Smosh.” Sunny said.

Julia bit her lip to keep herself from screaming or doing anything worse.

“Thank you so much you guys, seriously.” Julia muttered, getting up as the two men did and giving each one of them a giant hug.

You are so welcome, Julia,” Sunny said, smiling at her knowingly. “Now, I think your boyfriend is waiting for you outside.”

Julia blushed, everything in her wanting to be able to call Shayne that for real.

She opened the door to immediately see Shayne standing a few feet ahead, chewing on his nails in anticipation. He whipped his head up, looking at her with so much attentiveness. She grinned and walked towards him.

“Well? What was that all about?” Shayne asked, placing a hand on her forearm.

“I’ve got a new job.” She whispered, barely believing it herself.

Shayne grinned, his eyes widening and sparkling with joy.

“That’s amazing! We’ll be able to see each other more everyday! Is there anything else or was that it?” Shayne asked.

“Oh I don’t know, I guess you could count the fact that I’m joining y’all at Vidcon to meet an author and publicist about my book.” Julia said with a nonchalant shrug.

“What?! That’s amazing!” Shayne exclaimed, picking her up and squeezing her into a tight hug.

Julia laughed as Shayne spun them around, her heart was wrapped up in the moment and full of overwhelming joy. She didn’t want it to end.

“That deserves celebratory dinner! We should hit up In N Out for celebratory burgers!” Shayne said.

“So is that a date then, Mr. Topp?” Julia blurted out, surprised with herself for the confidence that took over her body.

Shayne looked at her for a moment, his cheeks flooding with color as he grinned even harder (if that was even possible).

“If you would like to call it that, then yes. Of course it can be.” 

Julia nodded her head vigorously. Shayne wrapped her up in his embrace again and held her to his chest. Everyone in the office who saw the event go down either filmed it and showed the others or smiled happily to see the two  _ finally  _ get together.

**  
  
  
  
**

\---

**  
  
  
**

August:

Julia packed the last box in her apartment and grinned at the bare walls. She had lived there for barely a year and these walls had been there through all the shit she went through in that time. She had fled there after she thought Brayden found her last address, scared and alone. Then she made friends, real genuine ones who loved and cared for her. She fell in love and cried into her pillows in here, wrote the rough drafts to her novel releasing this upcoming fall/winter, and had her heart broken. But then she learned to love herself behind these walls, reading and writing about anything and everything so she could understand her mind. Then with that,. She strengthened friendships and tied knots with people she could trust. She learned to forgive and move on, making friends with someone who had broken her heart after being friends before. Then she fell in love all over again, a beautiful feeling that felt more freeing than it had been previously.

“Babe! We need the last box and then we can get going!” Shayne called from the moving van parked out front.

Julia was moving in with Shayne, a huge step for her since she had never been this intimate and serious with a guy before. Yes she had had boyfriends, but none of them compared to Shayne. She grabbed the box and bounded down the stairs to the moving van. She grinned and greeted her boyfriend with a kiss, handing him the last box.

“There we go, honey bunny.”

“Honey Bunny? Is that gonna be my new contact name?” Shayne asked, ruffling her blonde locks.

Julia grinned, stealing his hat from on top of his head.

“Mayyybeee. It’s a lot better than My Intimate Friend. That’s just fuckin creepy babe.” Julia said with a laugh.

“What the hell is wrong with you, Shayne?” Damien shouted from the moving van.

Shayne laughed loudly, grabbing his hat back.

“It’s for comedic purposes I swear.” Shayne grinned.

Julia smiled and rolled her eyes, kissing him softly.

“I’m very excited right now. Nervous, but excited.” She admitted.

“Good,” Shayne said with a grin, tucking one of her loks behind her ear, “excitement is better with a little nerves mixed in. That’s how you know it’s real!”

Julia grinned and kissed him once more, slower and more passionate.

“Let’s go get ‘em tiger.” She said, ruffling his hair.

He beamed and ruffled her hair back, going to join Damien in closing the back of the moving van. 

Julia had everything. She was publishing her novel thqat she wrote about the love of her life, she was moving in with said love of her life, she was going to go and see her two best friends propose to each other later that night, and she had an amazing job at Smosh. She had been scared and living in the motions a year ago, but now she was soaring above the clouds. She was so thankful for Shayne walking into her coffee shop that one fateful day.

He was her real life angel who decided to swoop down to earth for her that day and make her rise from the dirt and shine.

**  
  
  
**

Epilogue:

****

@smosh:  _ We are so proud to introduce our newest member to the Smosh family: our new writer, Julia Lewis! Go and show her some love to help introduce her to our gang, or else Shayne will hunt you down personally and make you like her! _

Tagged: @JulesLews

Comments: 

@co_mill:  _ yessss _

@oliviasui:  _ i love you !!! _

@atomicmari:  _ I claimed her first _

@noahgrossman214:  _ I think Shayne did actually;) _

@shaynetopp: i know where you all live

@keithleakjr:  _ especially Julia;) _

@JulesLews:  _ STAHP IT _

@cortivia_shulia_:  _ yassss my queen has joined the team! _

@shaynepainstain:  _ how much y’all wanna bet that Shayne is dating Julia? _

 

__

@shaynetopp:  _ she stole my hat:( _

Tagged: JulesLews

Comments:

@JulesLews:  _ har har har _

@shaynetopp:  _ ew, that is the nastiest laugh ever _

@JulesLews:  _ all I heard was nasty;) _

@damienhaas:  _ oh my god this was a mistake _

@JulesLews:  _ I’M STEALING FREYJA _

@damienhaas:  _ DON’T YOU DARE _

@atomicmari:  _ you stealin’ my woman, boi? _

@shaynetopp:  _ you’re scary _

_ @atomicmari:  _ that’s what I thought, boiiii _ _

 

___ _

_@co_mill: this is a blurry shot, but it's the exact moment I said yes to the love of my life <3_

_Comments:_

_@oliviasui: i love you forever court court <3_

_@JulesLews: Moms!!!! omg im so happy for you guys!!!_

_@shaynetopp: you're welcome_

_@noahgrossman214: yayyyy congrats!_

_@smosh: our otp made it!_

_@courtivia_moments: IM ACTIALLY CRYONG_

_@damienhaas: finally!!! I've been trying to set this day up for months!_

_@bigbossboze: FUCK YEAH I LOVE YOU GUYS YOU BETTER MAKE ME A BRIDESMAID_

 

 

__

_@JulesLews: number one on the best selling charts?! AHHHHH I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! Thank you so much for reading and sharing my book to get me this far! I am so thankful for each and every one of you!_

_Comments:_

_@shaynetopp: am I dating jk rowling???_

_@JulesLews: @shaynetopp: you wish bish_

_@atomicmari: 4 million of those copies are all mine, stored in my secret shrine room_

_@co_mill: woohooooo we support a smart, hard-working business woman!_

_@damienhaas: you stole my sandals :/_

_@JulesLews: @damienhaas: oops_

 

__

_@damienhaas: actually doing work or daydreaming of killing us all in her sequel???_

_tagged: @JulesLews_

 

_Comments:_

_@JulesLews: ;)_

_shaynetopp: she's actually Medusa and is granting you life, just this once, next time you point the camera at her you die. Trust me, I've been there_

_@shuuliafans: we love an iconic duo!_

_damienandjulesrbffs: what wholesome, cute, supportive bros <3_

_@atomicmari: she's actually writing the Munge Trilogy_

_@shaynetopp: @atomicmari: i copy righted that bish, I'm taking you to court_

 

__

_@atomicmari: look at these fools twinning with the jean look!_

_Tagged:_

_@shaynetopp & @JulesLews_

 

_Comments:_

 

_@JulesLews: mama aint raised no fool_

_@shaynetopp: damn, you made my legs look great in this pic_

_@co_mill: @shaynetopp: i love your glorious tan legs_

_@oliviasui: @shaynetopp: I am jealous of your fine ass sex appeal legs_

_@shayne_smunge: shattering gender roles left and right!_

 

__

_@vanityfair: go and check out our latest interview with rising author, Julia Lewis, and her advice for battling anxiety and societal norms!_

_Tagged:_

_@elenastarsphotography_

_@marimalimua_

_@eleanor_kelli_

_@vanityfair_

_@scholasticinc_

_@JulesLews_

 

_Comments:_

_@JulesLews: I am in awe. thank you so much for the interview and lovely photos!_

_@shaynetopp: dats ma gurl_

_@atomicmari: YASSSSSSSS_

_@co_mill: so proud!!!_

_@sammietheman: you're still my boss right?_

 

__

_@JulesLews: it's been one hell of a year. I published an award winning book about us and our struggle to get to this place. I was able to see my beautiful coffee shop transformed and put into the right hands with your guidance. I got a job I enjoyed because of you. I met my bestest friends because of you. I love you to death and I am so very proud to call you my own. I love you Shanye and this is not a typo._

 

_Comments:_

_@shaynetopp: dammit_

_@shaynetopp: i guess I love you too:/ now get off your phone! we have a date to continue you dweeb!_

_@Atomicmari: i cry every time;(_

**Author's Note:**

> ***hey there, it's been what, seven months??? I decided to update this and just upload it in one full chapter. It's a lot, but I really like the format of it and it's a bit easier. I hope more of you enjoy this fic because as I was rereading it earlier I fell in love with this work and it's personal meaning for me. I went through a lot writing this fic in the first place and in a way it was my own therapy. And now that I am really seeking help from those around me, I wanted to actually go through with this fic and upload it since it was a push in the right direction for me in the first place.
> 
> So, I guess, I hope you enjoyed this! Leave a comment if you'd like more from the smosh boys and gals, I have many ideas brewing in the back of my head;)


End file.
